I want to find a good guy?

I'm 19 years old and I'm single because I'm apparently too fussy to choose a guy, according to my friends. But every guy that has approached me has always become extremely sexual within 10 minutes of speaking to me, they'll ask me to show them my body or if I'd sleep with them then they get mad and start saying rude things about me. I just want a guy that'll love me, someone I can turn to and someone who is affectionate, someone who can hold a conversation without having to mention sex every two minutes. I don't care about the sex, I just really need someone I can turn to, someone who can have innocent fun, a best friend kind of relationship but according to my friends I'm asking for too much and I just have to settle for someone who can make me feel good 'physically'.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hear you, and you're allowed to want what you want, but it's normal and natural for us to want sex. Is that the first thing on our mind? If you're pretty... then most of the time, yeah. It is. That isn't the ONLY THING we want, like yeah we also want someone to trust and love, but do we also want to fuck you? Yes. And there's nothing wrong with that.

    Sex isn't important to you, and that's okay too-- it's your body you can do what you want. But don't expect many guys, if any, to be okay with that. Good luck out there.

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    • Which I understand but it's constant like the subject always has to be about sex

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    • But yeah I hear you. It's a strange thing. That's just life.

    • Thanks for MHO.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know how you feel, i've been searching too. It's hard to find them now days cause society labels men as sex animals and so many men just accept that and become that instead of being someone who's genuinely nice. I've met a few who were really nice and a few who were horrible. In my country there are a lot of gentle men though but that's just cause we're not a first world country so most of the guys are raised by their parents to be respectful towards woman. Not all but i've met a bunch in my country. Lol i might have to go back there if I want to find a man like that.

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    • Sucks doesn't it, I know we can't expect them to be all like the guys in tvs and movies but a little respect would be nice

    • I agree, but i'd rather be alone than be with a man who is rubbish. I have standards and if they're not met then i'll never be happy, i just can't accept it. I did accept it once, gave all my standards up for one guy and he just treated me like shit, so I learned my lesson

    • I agree 100%

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • You find guys naturally. You cannot just find a guy and definitely not online. The only place you can find decent men is out there in the real world, doing their thing. So by being here to ask that question you're already hindering yourself. Put down that phone and go outside for I don't know a walk or join a team sport or something.

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  • Depends on where you search. Online in my opinion is not the best place to start. You should approach more guys in the real world. Its easier to connect with someone who has long term goals and wants to achieve, succeed, and who is ambitious. Girls tend to go for older guys because of these qualities.

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  • If you want a friend to talk to I can talk to you without any form of sexual conversation

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  • If you have a male best friend, with whom you share a lot of your secrets, is fun to hang out with, genuinely cares for you, helps you out when you are in some deep trouble, and you keep saying to him "It would be sook great if I had a boyfriend just like you." Then he is the dream guy you are looking for (provided he isn't in a relationship with someone else)

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    • Unfortunately, I don't.

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    • Nope, I do not.

    • Ok... then here's the thing. There are good guys out there... try to find guys who are really reserved, shy, who get all nervous when any girls go and talk to them. Try to speak with guys who are afraid (or down right terrified) of speaking with girls. These are the kind of guys who would love you as a person, not as a sex object. These are the kind of guys who would treat you in a way you want to be treated... I hope That I was of some help.

  • You don't want a "nice guy."

    Nice guys are pansies, fakes, men-pleasers, not leaders, not men.

    What you want is Jesus.

    No, not in that way.

    Every man will not fulfill your every need the way Jesus will.

    Then you need a man like Jesus. Kind, not nice. Loving you, not sexing you. Kindness is the fruit of the holy spirit. Niceness is something mother taught you so she wouldn't be picked on for her undisciplined children.

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  • See... The truth is where u are trying to find the so called good guys is wrong. It is futile to find birds in a pond full of fish. This is also the case with me. I am also in a wait for a good girl someone who loves and cares for me and i will also return the same. Not every guy is vulgar. Have patience and love is bound to find you.. Cheers.

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  • I think you generally tend to talk to guys who pay easy attention to you. The ones who do that are most of the time only looking for sex. Ever tried chasing a guy? You see the ones that give you a chase as people not interested in you. I hope I'm wrong. Another thing about love that I know is that it is the ability to tolerate the worst in a person and yet point out the positives in it. That to me is love

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  • Umh I don't know. You could try approaching shy guys, if you see any that you like. Since if they did like you, they would be too shy to approach so you know drop hints, like you're playing on easy.

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  • If I may ask are these guys you meet in person or online in apps like Kik or various dating apps. Because usually when it comes to apps like Kik and other ones. Not all. But most guys are only looking to hookup or for nude photos. There are good ones out there. But maybe you looking in wrong places. Good guys are rarely out at clubs or bars. They can be but its rare. It's harder to find a good guy. But they are out there

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    • Both, I've spoken to guys on here and real life but they all have the same interest, one even admitted to me that he was only talking to me because he wanted sex and if I wasn't willing to provide him with that then he'd spread rumours about me 🙄

    • Well im sorry to hear about that experience with a guy. I can promise you now we aren't all like that. And i know lots of guys who would punch someone who says that. It just depends on where you look. Guys looking to hookup go to bars and clubs and guys who may just be normal guys are usually with their friends or doing their own thing. It's like the stereotypes of nerds all being nice guys. Not all guys who are geeky are nice. But usually girls never gave them a second look and if they did they would treat the girl well cause they aren't used to it. So it may not be the best advice. But look around areas where guys who may not be the most popular frequent. Gaming conventions etc. Those guys would be interested in you if you equally show an interest in them. But all you can do is hope still

  • Your just searching in the wrong places. Also more pervy guys tend to approach girls so you might want to find a guy who your interested in and approach them instead

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  • I bet guys like you described are less likely to approach you in public. You may want to seek them.

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  • It just takes time to find a right man for you. As for me I don't want any kids for my age. I don't know if a woman would date me because I don't want kids. I'm not into dating sites also.

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  • Focus on how a guy talks to you rather than his looks when he's prospective. That should make it apparent no?

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    • That's what I am doing lmao and they all want the same thing

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    • I'm sorry to hear that, it's never cool feeling unappreciated.

    • Definitely sucks 😭

  • You can find one
    But getting him is a bit hard because he's looking for the same thing and he can't know your thoughts by your looks

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  • No don't agree stick to your guns you'll find someone.

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  • That’s me I’m a good guy always have been even though good guys usually finish last

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  • You just described what a relationship should be
    You should want that

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  • If you have the patience, you can find a man for you.

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  • It is okay to have standards!

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  • Give up, just give up

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  • I'm a good wingman if you need some help.

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  • They probably do that cause your attractive?

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  • Trial and error

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  • Let's meet

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  • Nice guys are a dying breed, in future all that will be left are players, fake nice guys, and fuck bois. Most women voted with their interest... guys have adapted.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It's really about how you act to them, if they are too sexual in the beginning, their only intention is sex anyways. So no point in talking if you aren't down for that.

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  • They're out there! Don’t give up!

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  • So you want a girl, basically. Good luck finding someone like that.

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    • There's gotta be some decent guy out there

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    • Exactly, all the decent ones are taken, she needs to give up

    • I'm not settling with a guy that only cares about sex

  • Y'all don't look hard enough

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