Who should pay?

Never ending debate about who should pay on the first date with a little bit of twist.

Let's see how much effort they made to make this first date happen.

Him
Travel distance (one way) : 5 miles
Train fare total : $4
Travel time total : 40min

Her
Travel distance (one way) : 40 miles
Train fare total : $50
Travel time total : 2.5 hours

Dinner for two was $40

What do you think is fair, he pays, she pays, or go dutch?
  • He pays
    Vote A
  • She pays
    Vote B
  • Go dutch
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
It's not about feminism nor I think man should always pay for woman. We went dutch after all. It's not that I'm against going dutch but I was surprised he didn't hesitate at all to go dutch. If it were reverse situation, I would have paid the dinner for him. Whether it's date or with friends, if I asked them out and if they made an effort to come to me, I feel I should at least buy them a meal to show my appreciation for the effort they made. With him, I felt like the effort I made were ignored.

0|0
415

Most Helpful Guy

  • if he asked you out on a first date and you're traveling that far to see him, then if i was in his shoes, I'd definitely pay.

    if you asked him out in this specific scenario, I (as the guy) would like to go dutch at the least

    if it was equal distances and both parties were making the same amount, ideally they should go dutch in my opinion

    1|0
    0|0
    • I totally agree with you.

      You know, I'm not being cheap or anything. If I asked him out and if I offered to travel that far, I wouldn't mind paying for myself at all.

      And if he paid for the dinner, I would have offered that I'd buy him drink or something.

      Also, the dinner was only $40. I don't think it's that much for someone in the 30's with a steady job to pay. If he's not willing to pay $20 extra on his meal, I feel like I don't worth for $20.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm all for going dutch, it's just part of being a responsible, reasonable person. If the location was further than the girl was happy to have to pay for she could always ask for it to be closer. I think the whole deal is that you're there to get to know the person and spend time with them, if you're focusing so intently on who's paying for what, is it really worth being there at all?

    0|1
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • If you need men to pay for you, then you aren't interested in the guys company for the sake of his company. If he pays for that it means he has zero self respect, and you are likely a gold digger. If you don't know if you are even going to get along, why should a guy invest all the money for a date?

    I'm interested in a partner, not a mooch.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm not saying guys should pay. If it were a reverse situation, I would have bought him dinner. I totally don't think guys should always pay for women. I rather don't feel comfortable if he pays all the time but in certain situations such as where I ask someone out and if they traveled to see me instead of me coming to them, I would feel I want to treat them with nice meal.

  • This is absurd. Women always want men to pay, the only twist is that your trying to create a hypothetical situation that forces the outcome you already wanted. If you wanted something interesting, reverse it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • You seem to worried about who pays... so it's obviously a big thing for you

    If I knew that information ahead of time - I'd expect you to pay to see if you can let that go... cause going forward I'd want a girl that isn't so concerned about who pays and what not
    Just be awesome and do what feels right not following social norms

    0|0
    0|0
  • A better idea would be for him to drive the 40 minutes or under an hour to her area, and she pays.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I normally say pay for myself, but given the travel you made i might have offered to pay for you in that case.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think its simple the guy should if he can or they can even split the bill as pay for themselfs

    0|0
    0|0
  • Fuck you. The debate itself was already complicated. You made it impossible to solve.
    The man pays, because fuck feminism and also the prostitute.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Women chose go dutch but they know they really expect and want the guy to pay and would probably be turned off if the guy let them pay.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Going Dutch is always fair. The time & expense to get to a date? Yup, that's new. Also, it's 100% on you. Who asked who? I wonder if any woman ever has considered that maybe she should pay to reward a guy for risking the rejection to ask her out in the first place. Or does emotional risk only matter when it's a woman's emotions?
    If he wants a second date, the man pays, always. Penn State did an interesting study of this in the early 90s. I don't recall the number of respondents, but one year women were asked if they would mind paying for a first date, or going Dutch. 2/3 of respondents said they liked that idea, and agreed that it should mitigate unwarranted expectations on the part of men. The following year, the same women were asked if they would go on a second date if they had paid for the first, or shared the bill. 96% said they would never agree to a second date with a guy who didn't pay for the first.

    0|0
    0|0
  • where in the world does anyone pay 50 bucks for a 40-mile train trip?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Who asked who out on the date?

    0|0
    0|0
  • i have a car so i can pick her up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if she won't split, then i split

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I say whoever asked that person out should be the ones paying.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I lived 3.5 hours from him when we dated, i visit and did dutch until we got married.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Both should pay.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...