Does she like me or just wants attention?

I got infatuated with a girl from work, which is fine if she would feel the same about me but I think she doesn't (yet?). This is going on for months now.

She is showing me mixed signals. It could be I'm seeing things because I like her but some things she does make me think she might want more. Things like when I'm making her laugh she usually touches me a lot, last Friday she put her hand on my thigh in the car when I made her laugh. She often looks at me at work with a flirty look. She also mentioned a few times that she needs a massage or hasn't had sex for quite some time and mentioned we should do something together. Touching her is also not a problem, although I did not do anything really daring yet, just things like putting my arm around her because she was cold.

I did not make a real move because she works with me so I don't want to look like a fool. Most of the people at my work actually think we are secretly dating and think we would look good as a couple. The mixed signals come when I try to make a conversation with her. I did not ask her out directly but I did give her quite a few hints, asking her what she's doing in the weekend etc. but she does not give me anything I can work with.

It could be that there's some cultural difference since she's Polish and her English is not that great. Ofcourse I would have liked to hear that she's into me but she probably isn't totally into me. So my question really is; Is there any way she could get more interested in me over time? And if not: How do I cope with being infatuated with a person at work without getting a new job?
Not sure if anyone still reads this but I want to thank you for your comments.

Perhaps it was not the best time to ask since she's on holiday to Poland now for 2,5 weeks but I did ask her to have a drink with me after she gets back and she laughed a bit shyly and said yes.

Still I'm not very confident yet. She did not really message me and I'm afraid she might flake and just told me what I wanted to hear but I guess we will see what happens.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think instead of trying to hint you should just casually ask her out, don't make it too big of a deal and also don't act too aveilable, most girls like guys who have the guts to make the move, but who are still little distant and mysterious, still you shouldn't over think it just go with the flow

    • Yes you are right. I know women like men like that. I don't think I'm too available, I'm not sending her messages or something or hang around her all the time. Still, I'm probably doing something wrong. Perhaps I'm making it too obvious I want her but it's hard to act like I'm not interested in her whenever she talks to me.

    • Of course, that's understandable, but you should ask her out and see how it goes from there, rooting for you, good luck

  • try to ask her directly for drinks after work or hang out after work, something like that, you can make it casual, but it will give you the opportunity to be alone with her and be more open

    • I will try to make a move before I close the book on her permanently. She knows I like her (pretty sure about that) so if she wasn't interested in me , wouldn't she keep her distance from me?

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    • To be honest, I do think she just wants attention from men. I remember when we just met she told me she was into some guy who already had a girlfriend. She had sex with him for like a month but eventually he stayed with his girlfriend and she was still crazy about him many months after that. It could be she is just one of those girls who likes to steal guys from women. I also had a girlfriend some time ago and it could be she thinks I'm still with her.

    • well as i wrote before "some people are just naturaly more open and flirty"
      and honestly if you feel like that, you are probably right

What Guys Said 1

  • Bad idea trying to date a chick from work, think what will happen if it doesn't work out. How will it effect the environment?

    I even made the mistake asking girls out from the gym and then regretted it because now its no longer a relaxing place.

    Id say if your going to go with this then ask her for coffee, while there be straightup and ask her if she likes you etc to get it out of the way. And then take it extremely slow almost too slow so that you guys can still revert back to coworker mode if needed.

    • Yes you are right. Dating someone at work is not the best idea, I didn't want it to be like this but right now I have 3 options which can all be difficult. 1: change jobs. 2: try to date her. 3: try to forget about her.

      Perhaps the best is if she would just reject me so I don't have to wonder about it anymore.

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    • Obviously It will not be an easy thing to cope with. I guess sometimes you just have to take the risk you never know how it's going to end.

      So most people tell me to go and just ask her for drinks so I will do that. Some people told me my approach seemed like I just wanted sex.

    • Just ask her for coffee instead of drinks especially if you want to date her.

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