Growing up, my family was always super close. However, my siblings and I are growing up, and naturally we have drifted. My brother and I are in college and my sister is a teenager who wants to"find herself". I think this growth is normal, but the rest of my family doesn't seem to think so. This has caused the home environment to become rather toxic. I love my family, but that includes my boyfriend. I'm having a difficult time balancing this.
My mom passes many harsh judgements on my boyfriend without knowing him all that well (saying he's snobby, we won't get along because he's agnostic and an only child, he's arrogant, etc.). Recently, she went through my things and found a private note that he wrote to me saying something negative about her. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong and ignored me for days until I deduced what had happened. It looks like we are gonna have it out tomorrow and I don't know what to do. She thinks this proves that he's bad for me and she wants him gone. I'm not sure if he was justified, but he's entitled to his opinion and I love him. I don't want my life to be ruled by her, but I want to reconcile this and have a good relationship with her again! I don't know how to defend him when she is basing this off of such little information. I'm really scared.
Most Helpful Guy
First off, he shouldn't be saying anything bad about your family, regardless if he doesn't like them. He needs to respect your mom because well she's your mother. Don't "have it out" with her, instead he should apologize for saying whatever he said. Of course she's not going to like him if your mother doesn't get to know him. That makes him look and makes her feel like he is too good for your family. The sibling thing, that's normal to drift apart.
Most Helpful Girl
Girl same ! Just have to deal with it