He told me nothing is my fault, he's just a mess. I expressed that I was hurt and he told me he felt horrible for it, he was treating himself horribly for a few days. Even after we broke up he told me I was perfect and in the breakup (it was over text) he told me I was beautiful and that he didn't want to do this, and he included a heart emoji telling me he was really sorry. Does this mean he still has feelings for me? I'm stuck on the whole "maybe we have a future" part and I need some advice on how to deal with it.
I had posted on snapchat a quote saying I felt empty and sad and he slid up and asked if I was ok. He told me he doesn't want to push me out of his life, and it's all just really confusing. He still texts me first randomly as well, and he tells me he wants me to be happy and that's all that matters. He also tells me he's here for me and I can talk to him about anything whenever I need to. When I'm going through stuff, even after we broke up he still talks me through it and I guess I'm confused why he still cares about me so much?
Most Helpful Guy
At this point, both of you may feel some desire for a connection, but the connection is not yet established. Whatever is bothering him, he had not confided that in you. It is easy to hide such things when you are communicating through texts, snap, etc.
Schedule a time for the two of you to be together in a setting where you can have some conversation without being distracted or interrupted. Don;t tell him in advance that you want to talk, because he will probably become resistant to meeting. Just tell him that you want to see him and set it for a time and place when you think you will be able to talk.
Once you are together, sit facing him. Take his hand, look into his eyes, and say to him, "I want you to listen to what I say without interrupting, okay? Our relationship is too important to not discuss so I want us to talk about it now. It is obvious something is bothering you and I need to know what it is whether it concerns me or not. I'm not going to let go of your hand until you tell me what is wrong and, after you tell me, whatever it is, I will still hold your hand. We've got to talk and now is the time, so. . . now it's your turn to talk."
Then listen to everything that he says without interrupting and without trying to think of what you will say in reply.
Digital communications are great if you need to ask your husband to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home. They are absolutely awful for communicating important things in a relationship. You aren't connected with him and this is why.
There is no guarantee that this will work but it is the mature way to address a problem in a relationship.1