Is he testing me?

BACKGROUND: So I have been dating this guy for a few months now. We have not talked about being exclusive since our working relationship forbids it. Although we see each other at work, flirt a lot, and get dinner and drinks with good bye kisses, it’s been almost 2 months since the last time we slept together? I brought it up and he said something about not wanting to make past mistakes and make everything about sex all the time.

TODAY: he began questioning me about something I’ve done. I asked him what he was talking about and he said “you should know” I continued to deny knowing what he was talking about while he continued pestering me. He finally gave up and said “I guess if you haven’t done anything then there’s nothing to ask” he later said he was just messing with me and to drop it?
He then went on to explain that he’s “trying to figure stuff out” he mentioned getting a job offer elsewhere and I asked him if I had anything to worry about. With a smile he said I’ll find out once he’s figured thing out.

I don’t know if he’s trying to decide if he should get a new job so we can take our relationship further... or if he’s heard something about me hooking up with someone else at work and trying to decide if he believes them or not?

He asked me if I’ve told my parents we are dating yet, and then He ended the night by paying for dinner, kissing me goodbye, and asking to stay the night tomorrow?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Seems like whether it not he is testing you how a little unclear what's going on with the relationship. If there's any advice I can give it is that if you really like the guy don't waste your time, have a conversion with him. Talking is usually the best way to get some clarity on these things. If he likes you back it should be a good conversion which will end up with you both being a bit more clear about what's happening 🙂

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  • He's basically working out whether it's going to be worth it, whether he should change the direction of his life and career for someone and if you're willing to take it as seriously as he is

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    • I gave him a pretty nice Christmas present tonight which I know he wasn’t expecting (18K gold watch)

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    • Damn haha sounds like a very lucky guy! Maybe try and have a chat about it and talk it all through instead of both of you just guessing on where things are going and what happens next, obviously don't out the pressure of setting out what has to happen and when by etc just a rough idea on if you and him are working towards something serious or not

    • He hates when I start asking questions though, so I’ve always just gone with the flow and have let him figure shit out in his own time. I’m in no rush. But I even try a simple “what is it you’re trying to figure out? You’re not being clear.” He’ll tell me to quit asking so many questions, I’ll ins out when he’s ready 🙄

  • He’s testing you. He tried to make it seem like he knew you cheated on him so he could squeeze a confession out of you. You passed.

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    • Why is he worried about me cheating if we aren’t officially together though?

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    • I mean - I have ‘cheated’ tho if it’s considered cheating when you’re not officially dating? I’m just not going to confess to that shit. Ever!

    • Well you should probably tell him because he’s (potentially!) about to change his life for you. If he’s the man you want, he’d accept it! Think of it as your own test for him.

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