Ex-girlfriend says wants to be just friends yet her actions give mixed signals, will telling her we can't talk anymore tell me how she really feels?

I thought being friends and not pressuring her about it might evoke her true feelings. But after hanging out with her the first time, I'm not sure I can take it. Maybe I just need to be patient. Will telling her we're trying to be friends too soon and to only contact me if she wants to be more than friends (at least for now, maybe we can be friends in the future) reveal her true feelings? I know it would help me move on, but I don't want to do that if I'm right about the way I think she truly feels by the way she acts around me. She's so touchy feely with me, teasing me, touching me kinda inappropriately, asking me to hang out, basically invites me to touch her back inappropriately and doesn't get mad when I do it back, strong eye contact, very easy to make her laugh, etc. I think her and I are so compatible and the way she acts around me shows that but she insists that she just wants to befriends? It makes no sense


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  • I would say this to her:

    "Being just friends doesn't work for me. I'm only interested in a romantic relationship. So if you change your mind, give me a call. Otherwise, I wish you the best." Then don't contact her for a while and see if she misses you enough to change her mind.

    If you give in to the friendship right now she may just be getting her emotional needs met through you right now without a concern for what you want and she may be content with that and not necessarily want to get back with you.

    • So I assume you believe cutting her off is the best way to get her to come to her senses as opposed to being friends thinking spending time with you will make her realize how much she enjoys spending time with you/being with you?

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    • You see, the first two or so weeks after the breakup she would find reasons to contact me just about every other day despite us both agreeing we shouldn't talk for a month or so. She would also say shit like she misses me, wishes I was there, and also at one point said she wished I was in town, as she goes to a different college than me, to "talk talk" though she had nothing she needed to say (wtf does that even mean?). I think I came on too strongly and need to take things slow, which is why I think the friends route may be the better bet. But I'm not entirely sure. While dating, she did say something like losing me completely would rock her world (in a negative way of course). I just think she interprets some aspects of our relationship to be friendly when they're not, they're because we have feelings for one another. I know I do want her back, I just can't figure out which route is the better one to take.

    • Yeah man, it's tough. I still feel that if you want a shot at getting her back you just have to cut her out of your life until she can't take it. It's kind of manipulative, but letting her have her 'just friends' comfort zone will allow her to get too comfortable in both finding someone else and having you there.

      Whatever you decide, best of luck.

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