I've known this girl for over a year now and we became best friends. As long as I've known I've had a huge crush on her. We were both dating someone at the time, but recently me and my now ex have broken up. And now, her and her boyfriend's relationship is starting to take a steep turn.
We use to work together, that's how we met. Recently, I was talking about my situation with a co-worker, who told me she admitted to having feelings for me. Now I know you think the answer is simple, but read the next part first.
About a month ago, maybe like 3 weeks after my ex and I split up, I started to be a dick to her. I'd blow off plans, I'd ignore texts, I'd sleep with girls and tell her about it. I was a real asshole. This isn't an excuse, but I stopped talking to her because it was just absolute torture to see her with dickbrains. To hear her talk about their future, to wait for them to separate. It was just too much to handle, and I thought it would be easier if I just disappeared. After me being a complete dumbass, I believe those are old feelings now, and I've pushed her into his arms.
She once told me one of the reasons she doesn't want to break off things with her boyfriend is because she's afraid she won't find anyone else. I wanted so bad to tell her right then and there but I couldn't.
At this point, I'm thinking it's hail mary time. But as with all best friend crushes scenarios, I'm worried she doesn't feel the same way and I'll lose her. I didn't think I'd be looking for complete strangers online for advice on this, but I just need some more insight before I take the chance. I stopped being a dick to her and back to being a friend. I've even given her a ride home at 2am after her jackass left her out in the cold in front of his house. But I feel like I've proven to her that I'm no better than who she's with. What the fuck do I do.