How do I stop prioritizing a girls looks?

I recently dated a girl for several weeks. She is a very attractive girl but she had some characteristics that weren't so pleasant. She would have flatulence and belch. She talked very openly about some of her sexual experiences that were a bit gross to say the least, and this was the second time i met her. The worst was she actually caused me physical harm. During some not so play fighting she got rough with me and gripped my wrist with her full force and she almost broke one of my fingers thinking it was hilarious. Her saying im strong aren't i? She seemed to be emotionally unstable and want to show her dominance. But because she's pretty i was willing to put all of this aside which i shouldn't do really. So how do i stop letting a girls looks decide whether i stick around or not?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well honestly, all guys like a pretty face but the most successful relationships are when they realize the inside is breathtaking and then the outside becomes that way too. I hate to tell you, unless you are willing to make a change it won’t work. As many guys have said to me the really hot girls are crazy or super shallow how the hell did I manage to be hot and not one of those. Honestly, I consider myself just a plain Jane girl next door but guys disagree all the time. I get a lot of attention out and about. You don’t need to settle lower your expectations of model material it is just not realistic.

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    • I guess im learning how much i value a girls looks over anything else. This isn't good. I could end up in some bad situations

    • You definitely could. It is unfortunate, there are plenty of amazing girls, cute or pretty too, but we can’t all look like a movie star sorry.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you find her attractive, you should date her. Relationship's and dating aren't about getting what you want. They are about growing to become a better person. I promise you if you date her, you and her will both grow to become better people. There are only two forms of changing, one is from love and the other is from hate. If your relationship with her is positive, you can both only make positive changes.

    And even if you or her realize that you don't find each other attractive in that way. At least you made a good friend. There are probably some flaws she see's in you too, but she's willing to keep you around in her life. Do her the same. Relationship's aren't just about you, if you have that mindset, you will miss out on a lot of good experiences and people.

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    • We've kind of stopped talking at the moment. We had a bit of a falling out. So i dont know if it would be worth contacting her when things have calmed down

    • Relationship's have ups and downs. It's your prerogative if you feel like the downs outweigh the ups. But ask yourself how much you contributed to the relationship if you feel that is the case. Because if you saw the ups outweighing the downs. You would be motivated to keep the relationship going right? You get what you put into the relationship. Any relationship.

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What Girls Said 9

  • See women as people not pretty things.
    That girl as a person: psycho.
    That girl as a pretty thing: pretty thing.
    Other girl as a person could be: kind, gentle, smart, athletic.
    Other girl as pretty thing: pretty thing.
    See the pattern here? Haha. Value women as people with intriguing and valuable brains and it becomes a lot easier to keep yourself happy with them.

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    • It's funny cause don't girls want people to see them as pretty?

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    • @chris_987 Oh damn what a sick burn and now you finally know what's wrong with society today

    • Totally wrecked. 😂🙄

  • She sounds a bit unclassy. Start looking for girls that will treat you right so that you can do the same in return.
    Most important thing I can say is to remember self care. If you are putting her above your own best interest than something is wrong and this relationship is on the verge of being unhealthy. No matter the appearance, your well being must be a priority.

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  • just think about marrying her and having to spend the rest of your life with that attitude, while her face gets ugly af, she gets fat around 30 and what kind of annoying children you would have. I hope it works.

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  • I would not let a guy who did what she did get within ten feet of me, no matter how hot he was.

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    • Well, women are psycologically set to find guys creepy, and are less motivated by sexual attraction due to only being able to have a evolutionally sucsessful sexual act once evry nine months, so you are biologically prone to being more picky.

  • Dude, it sounds like you need to get out of that situation just say to her.. " I'm really sorry but I really don't think that it will work out... I would love to still hang out but you get a little rowdy sometimes, so friends?"

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    • We've kind of stopped talking now any way.

  • If it doesn't fell good is no good. Is normal to feel attracted by a pretty face but what shall make u stay is harmoniousness.

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  • By knowing what comes with her. Maybe you can look at her everyday, but not DEAL with her everyday. Ask yourself this!

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  • Next time get to know then more first before giving a pretty girl a chance.

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  • I read the first few sentences and you need to drop her like a hot potato ASAP

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What Guys Said 39

  • Are you friggin out of your mind?
    This woman has mental issues. Forget her pretty face.
    Learn to be attracted to the personality and character of the woman. If both are pleasing about her then she will look beautiful to you no matter what the rest of the world thinks.

    If you stay with her you will find out first-hand what life is like with a toxic bitch. And I guarantee you will not enjoy it.

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  • Simple,
    If the relationship is causing a unwanted effect or harm, end it.
    Looks are of no use if those looks are hurting you 75%- 99% of the time eh?
    I cannot stress it enough, just end it if this girl is hurting you, she's not going to let you give that dominance feel your after either so it's not gonna work!

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  • Hope that it comes with maturity of years.

    My wife was not particularly attractive and she was mean. I stayed to protect the kids. It was after 20 years together that I simply decided I should have no desire for her. The moment I did, I found her repulsive. It still took another ten years before I moved out

    When you look at her, visualize her as a flatulent and disgusting pig. If that isn't what you are attracted to, you will begin to find her less appealing each time you see her.

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  • Okay I understand putting up with SOME behavior because a woman’s attractive, but what you’ve just described seems insane to me. I would’ve left long behavior she tried to take one of my fingers off, specifically during the part where she mentions some of her sexual experiences without me asking. That’s just wrong, unnecessary, and weird. Maybe it is to showcase some dominance. You can always get a hot woman without any of those psycho tendencies man. There’s billions of women on this earth...

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  • You don't. What you need to do is learn to recognize red flags on girls. Your problem is prioritize ONLY looks. Looks are fine, but she has to be stable too. What you want is hot and not crazy. Always consider those two things. If she's cray cray then you gotta bail no matter how hot. I know it's hard, but you'll get it.

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  • Drop her like a hot potato, pal.

    There are plenty of nice looking girls with a personality to match. Don't feel you're losing anything by discarding this psycho, and don't feel that you're obliged to "fix" her.

    One chance. Per woman. Per lifetime. No exceptions.

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  • I'd think on the subject more, that girl sounds sickening. I've never been the type to just go for the prettiest girls , I've dated bland nerdy looking ones, hot ones various girls. Once you think on the subject and get an understanding of the details involved you might be able to understand better.

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  • Sounds like you're already on your way, it's just a matter of realizing that looks are a small part of what makes someone attractive. Although looks are the easiest thing to identify because you don't have to know anything else about them. Think of it in terms of "you can't judge a book by its cover", you must open it to truly know.

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  • Dude, just because she is hot means nothing. She clearly does not care for you at all in a meaningful way. She does not care about you at all. Dump her. Look for women who share the same wants as you. If you like music, you may find your future girlfriend at the music store who loves the same band as you. Looks are not everything bro, trust me, we all been there.

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  • See women as people not pretty things.
    That girl as a person: psycho.
    That girl as a pretty thing: pretty thing.
    Other girl as a person could be: kind, gentle, smart, athletic.
    Other girl as pretty thing: pretty thing.
    See the pattern here? Haha. Value women as people with intriguing and valuable brains and it becomes a lot easier to keep yourself happy with them.

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  • Dude. That’s a choice you are making. You have to decide how much you are willing to give up just to be with a pretty girl. Just try dating a plain old regular girl without sex being on the table. Get to see beyond.

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  • I'm not equipped at all to help you in this, I'd just stay & take the abuse as long as the ass was good. But i'm kind of into being abused a little, so im no shining example. She sounded fucking awesome until the breaking of the finger part.

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  • Just do it. Break up. You're asking this question so we convince you or tell you how to break up. She's a cunt and a bitch. Women like her pick fights then call the cops to lie and sat you attacked her first. Pieces of shit like her are theh ones that scream rape in the street of you don't do what she says. You've been warned. If you want to wait until she destroys your life then that's on you. No pussy on this planet worth abuse and possible jail time.

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  • Tell her trully how you feel about it and ask her what she thinks. Tell her honestly and work it out.

    If she doesn't make you happy now, do you think she will later down the road? Try to see what can you expect from her in the future.

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  • You gotta love yourself more. There's nothing wrong in wanting a beautiful woman but there are many of them in the world. If you find a crazy one just think about yourself and look for a normal one.

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  • Delay that part of the relationship for a week, maybe longer until you know a person better. You simply can't judge a book by it's (pretty) cover. I wish you the best of luck finding the true one!:D

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  • You have to have some self esteem and be more assertive. It means knowing to walk away in spite of the strong lust you're experiencing.

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    • We had a sort of falling out a few weeks back. Weve not spoken since. I initially felt a bit upset because i found her attractive but im starting to see sense now.

  • You are just going to have to mature as a person. Looks are never a basis for a relationship. You have to find that for yourself

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  • You should'a just broke her nose and called it good. :)

    Stay away from BSC - girls trying to prove something, you don't stick your dick in cra-cra.

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  • The key is acknowledgement. Read about the halo effect, and what makes people attractive. That way you will see it logically, rather than emotionally.

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