Boyfriend help Part 2?

In the messages to the guy I had gone on about how my boyfriend was perfect he was smart and clever and kind and sweet and we enjoyed the same things but had enough differences to share opinions and have interesting conversations and that he just come out of a book or something that basically to me he was perfect. Now even before dating my boyfriend wasn't the greatest texter it'd take him hours to read or reply to texts but because he's always busy with uni , coursework and the gym. But recently it just seems like he's loosing interest maybe? Last weekend we were meant to go on a date and he called and cancelled said that he had to catch up on a lot of stuff for next week and that he was sorry but it'd have to be a pass. He would take longer and longer to reply or read up to 18 hours of not hearing from him at all and it's just like , I'm not someone who needs attention all the time and I understand he is busy but dropping a couple of texts in the morning or during the day would be nice , his replies seem shorter but he still asked me to dinner next weekend and said it'd have to be Friday because he leaves for Christmas on Friday night to go see family which is great for him. I just don't know if I've done something or if he is just stressed out with uni and stuff and I don't want to keep bothering him all the time so I just leave until I replied it just feels a bit like I'm always making an effort and sometimes get nothing back but I really actually like this one.

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  • The month before my ex dumped me she was displaying the same behaviors that this guy is doing. It would take forever for her to reply to my text messages and I also felt bad explicitly saying that I felt neglected.

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    • That is a big worry but we have only been going out for a few weeks so it's nothing major yet I don't know just seems a bit odd that texting and that he's awful at it but in person he is always the one to make sure people know , he always goes and holds my hands and if we are stopped he will hug me or keep me cuddled up and he always initiates kissing stuff like that I don't know if maybe he is scared to open up he already told me he's not very good at expressing his feelings. Like when he asked me out when I got home he messaged saying he was serious about the relationship and that he didn't want me to think he was being nonchalant about it but it's hard for him to express how he feels and joked that I should get him Drunk next time

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    • Try to talk with him in person and let him know how you currently feel about his behavior towards your relationship. It's better to fix these kinds of problems early on than try to fix them 5 years down the road. It seems like he's a good guy and will probably feel bad for kind of ignoring you but it'll be a learning experience for the both of you. Wish you the best of luck

    • Thank you and I will and he's actually just messaged me which is odd he never usually does in the morning

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What Guys Said 8

  • He has a busy and full life at university now. It's easy to forget the niceties that keep a relationship with you going. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you anymore, just that you're not a big part of his day to day life at the moment.
    Remind him that you're there and that you're feeling neglected. Maybe that's all he needs.

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    • But i don't want to come across as needy and clingy , he's already said he appreciates how we both have busy lives and that he's glad I understand that

  • I'm going with my guy snaptsch. It was rushed. Even though the mood felt right it would have been even better to hold off

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    • Usually I would I'm not an overly sexual person to begin with but it felt right and if he was only interested in that then he would have said he's always really honest and why would he of bothered with more dates that lasted even longer I don't know think he's just not used to relationships and we did take it rather slow at first but couldn't help ourselves I guess

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    • If it's as you say then he truly is just busy and forgetful

    • I guess so it just kind of sucks

  • Well it sounds like he's either losing interest or he found someone else. If a guy is really into someone he will find time and it shouldn't take 18 hours. I would say don't text him at all. And then when he does text you don't text back and make him wait. If he text you again and says something like hey are you okay or where are you? Then he still interested. If he doesn't text back the second time then he definitely doesn't care.

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    • But why would he be so insistent on being serious about the relationship and wanting to see me all the time even when we aren't doing anything sexual

    • How long has it been since you started dating? He may be talking or seeing more than just you. OR, maybe he's just busy. OR he just wants to take it slow. The best thing to do is just ask him straight up. Don't be embarrassed. Just tell him exactly how you feel and you want to know where you stand

  • Because you went too fast when you should have taken your time to warmup and now you are running out of fuel

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    • That was us taking it slow usually in in a relationship by the first date so this was both of us taking it slow

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    • That's the whole comment

    • Considering that you are enjoying the relationship, I don't see any problem.

      You have answered your own question multiple time, just in case you didn't realize 😅

  • Maybe you're overreacting, i dunno i would overreact too

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  • He is very less interested in u n just holding u as a option

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    • Should I just leave? Or talk to him about it cause he will call randomly all the time he never has been a big texter he prefers to call when he can and if I haven't replied for a little while he usually calls

    • I think u need to move on because u can't prolong like this n marriage also don't stand without communication

    • I'm sort of holding out that he is just busy cause on the days he is free from uni he always asks me if we want to do something and he will text me all the time and reply really quick

  • The guy is ignoring u for sure.

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    • What makes you say that

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    • Attraction only lasts in the beginning but if feelings are strong the person will talk with the same vigour everytime

    • It is still the beginning just picked a sucky time cause all of the exams and coursework at this time and I'm not about to let him fail just because I would like some attention

  • need 20 mil per 2

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