Should I care that there isn't a label on what we have?

I've been talking to this guy for a couple months now, long distance. We've only met once, but he is planning on coming to visit in February. He recently told me that he loves me, and he had a moment yesterday where he was worried that I would get bored of him. He calls me his girl all the time. He keeps saying that he wants me in his life, that he looks forward to our future together, but we are not technically dating or whatever, so I am just unsure of what to say or do. I know my family will be asking about boyfriends over Christmas break and I don't know what to say to them. I don't really feel like it is that big of a deal, but my mind is overthinking it, so I don't know


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What Guys Said 1

  • I wouldn't worry about the label. I'd just tell them the situation as you described it. You're communicating with a guy long distance but have only met him once. He seems to really like you and you'll be getting together again in February and will see how it goes.

    I've been in a relationship where there was no good label either and it is a little awkward that you can't just use one word to describe it, but we just used a couple sentences instead of just one word.

    • I'll add that I think you're approaching this thing better than he is. I personally don't know how someone can be in love with a person they've only met once. Yes, it's possible to develop a strong connection electronically, but I don't really understand being in love with someone until you're around them for a while and do things together.

      You seem to be more cautious about the relationship and I think that's wise. Maybe it will be great when you get to spend time together, but I personally would wait until you've spent a good bit of time together in person to make any grand declarations of love. I don't think those are words that should be tossed around easily.

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    • That's unfortunate. It would be nice if families were more accepting. I don't see anything wrong with your situation. Obviously it's not ideal (being together makes a relationship much easier) or the most common kind of relationship, but lots of us are in non-standard relationships. My mother's not too happy with my relationship either (living together but not married) because it doesn't meet her traditional standards but she accepts it. Hopefully your family will be accepting of your situation too even if it's not their idea of the perfect relationship. Even if they're not, I hope you won't let it bother you too much. The world changes and things aren't always like they used to be and it's not like you're doing anything really crazy.

      Also, if you're really 18, remember that you're an adult now and free to make decisions for yourself and don't have to get your family's blessing on everything.

      Good luck! If you're willing to share, I'd like to hear how it goes.

    • Thought I'd give you an update. My mother and father are still a bit skeptical, but they pretty much accept him. My extended family was not happy in the slightest, because of his career choice (he is apprenticing for a tattoo shop right now, with plans to open his own shop in a couple years). I don't really care what my extended family think though, because they are very rich and have always been very judgy

      Everything is still going well in my relationship. He called me the best girlfriend the other day, so the label thing is no longer an issue.

      Thank you for all your help.

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