What have I done? DID I RUIN IT MYSELF?

Sooo.. I have been seeing this guy from tinder for almost 1 month already. He's 6 years older than me. Imma give him a fake name as Jake. Jake started to text me on tinder and we exchanged our numbers. Then he ended up asking me on the official date , which i didn't expect that coming and I decided to give myself another chance by saying yes. To this point, we talked about 1 weeks already. There was one night before our official date. Jake texted me saying "He wanted me to come to the nightclub with his friends because he really wants to see me" (He's little drunk) so I was gonna go but then I had my second thoughts that I don't want things to end up like shit. Then I replied him "Do you really wanna see each other in this situation?". His response was "No, forget about everything I said before let's meet only two of us. I want to let you know, I kinda have the feeling that I like you". After that when it came to our date, he brought me to the bar and we kinda drunk on that night. I offered to stay over at my place. When we got home we talked about everything and I felt like Jake is a decent guy. He didn't at least tryna make a move on me. We didn't do anything accept cuddled to sleep. Then, he left in the afternoon. I was so scared that he's not gonna continue keeping in touch. But i was wrong he texted me so i was like everything is ok. After week2, i felt like our convo wasn't as good as before. He replied quite late and i was the only who waited. I tried to ignored this fact because he has a job and i'm just a college student. I tried to adapt myself into it. Then Jake invited me to his place and we ended up kissing plus fucking but before it happened i asked him if he was serious about us. He said "yes". That's where I let myself go with it. After the night, everything has changed. Our convo was so dead, which i couldn't take it anymore. I wrote him a paragraph text saying how upset i was. He left me on read for 2 days. >> continue
Updates:
continue>> 2days after texted him asking for apology, which his respond was yes. He said "I was overreacted and he was scared if things are going to fast." I was like "okay this will never happen again I promise" then he left me on read again. I waited for 7 hrs and there was nothing from him. I decided to send him a 'goodnight' snap. I woke up next morning, he opened it but no reply back. I was like ok i'm not gonna do anything but this anymore because i'm hurt by putting all these efforts.
So that's how our things ended. I once told Jake if anything happened or whatever came up to his mind just be straightforward with me. I know what he said was true that I rushed our things. I'm just having difficult time dealing with my emotion. I usually get paranoid easily >>>>continue

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Fwiw for a lot of guys getting in your pants is like a game... once they win it's not as fun anymore and they move on. Also he may be talking or meeting with someone else. Sorry this happened. I continue to be surprised that women don't know how men operate cuz a significant portion are like that. (Unless it's a very obvious good guy u have a very good chance of getting a "game" type guy especially on tinder. Not s great place to find a serious relatonship

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl my advice to you... would be to delete that damn app. It’s no place to find “love.” It’s for hooking up. And that’s what you guys did. Definitely giving you the signs he’s not interested anymore. I know it’s hard... take it as a lesson learned and move on. There are a million and one more guys like him out there.

    So he got what he wanted and ghosted you. Almost all the guys on tinder are going to do the same. Save yourself the grief and pain, and delete it. 😔

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What Guys Said 7

  • It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong so no you didn't ruin anything.

    Just bare in mind that you met "Jake" on tinder and most guys use it to get their jollies and move on leaving a string of broken hearts

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  • Sounds like you met a guy who wanted sex, and once he got it he stopped putting in the effort. Just give him some space and see what happens, but you did nothing wrong.

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  • It's tinder, you can't just love on app figures or pictures, i think he's on tinder again choosing another girl.

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  • He's just prowling for hookups, homie. Doesn't sound like he's serious. I'm sorry.

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  • He pumped and dumped you. Congrats this is dating in 2017. Go find another one

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  • My opinion is that he is playing you.

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  • You got what you asked for. You dated, you had sex. He isn;t rushing back for more and you want more. He was a Tinder date and that's how those can turn out. You kind of told him to go. Right? Send an occassional hello. If he reengages don't demand answers. Give it time.

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What Girls Said 1

  • "Jake" got what he wanted from you, which was sex. He's not "looking for anything serious" honey. So sorry, but a good guy should never have you feeling worried that you're being ignored. You deserve better. And next time don't let them jump into your pants too fast.

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