What have I done? DID I RUIN IT MYSELF?

nichnich
Sooo.. I have been seeing this guy from tinder for almost 1 month already. He's 6 years older than me. Imma give him a fake name as Jake. Jake started to text me on tinder and we exchanged our numbers. Then he ended up asking me on the official date , which i didn't expect that coming and I decided to give myself another chance by saying yes. To this point, we talked about 1 weeks already. There was one night before our official date. Jake texted me saying "He wanted me to come to the nightclub with his friends because he really wants to see me" (He's little drunk) so I was gonna go but then I had my second thoughts that I don't want things to end up like shit. Then I replied him "Do you really wanna see each other in this situation?". His response was "No, forget about everything I said before let's meet only two of us. I want to let you know, I kinda have the feeling that I like you". After that when it came to our date, he brought me to the bar and we kinda drunk on that night. I offered to stay over at my place. When we got home we talked about everything and I felt like Jake is a decent guy. He didn't at least tryna make a move on me. We didn't do anything accept cuddled to sleep. Then, he left in the afternoon. I was so scared that he's not gonna continue keeping in touch. But i was wrong he texted me so i was like everything is ok. After week2, i felt like our convo wasn't as good as before. He replied quite late and i was the only who waited. I tried to ignored this fact because he has a job and i'm just a college student. I tried to adapt myself into it. Then Jake invited me to his place and we ended up kissing plus fucking but before it happened i asked him if he was serious about us. He said "yes". That's where I let myself go with it. After the night, everything has changed. Our convo was so dead, which i couldn't take it anymore. I wrote him a paragraph text saying how upset i was. He left me on read for 2 days. >> continue
Updates:
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continue>> 2days after texted him asking for apology, which his respond was yes. He said "I was overreacted and he was scared if things are going to fast." I was like "okay this will never happen again I promise" then he left me on read again. I waited for 7 hrs and there was nothing from him. I decided to send him a 'goodnight' snap. I woke up next morning, he opened it but no reply back. I was like ok i'm not gonna do anything but this anymore because i'm hurt by putting all these efforts.
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So that's how our things ended. I once told Jake if anything happened or whatever came up to his mind just be straightforward with me. I know what he said was true that I rushed our things. I'm just having difficult time dealing with my emotion. I usually get paranoid easily >>>>continue
What have I done? DID I RUIN IT MYSELF?
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