Why is it that men have to make the first move?

Just wondering. I know women do it too, but for the most part from what I have seen and the conversations I have had, its always that men have to make the first move. Me personally, I don't see the point, simply because a lot relationships end in failure and I have to be the one to put myself out there while women typically do not (hate to generalize) because they get approached regardless (or cat called lmao). Is it an ego thing? Is it a control thing? Having an edge over men because women are not putting themselves at risk so to speak with the first approach? What are your thoughts? Debates are welcomed. Also I am aware I am a bit biased because I am a guy, even so, I can't deny my experiences based on my gender.
Why is it that men have to make the first move?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i find its harder to ask a man as i see them as the dominant ones so for me its purley out of being to shy or embarresed i would personally rather wait till the man asks as then i know he is interested in taking us further rather than to scare him off or pushing him away by asking him maybe to soon? i dont know the pure thought of ruining a chance with a good man because of scaring him of by making him feel uncomfortable by asking a question he may not want to here. we dont want to be judged on that one thing. its different for different people so like to see other people opinions to

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    • We feel the same way tho, we are just as scared of freaking out a girl by asking her out. That's kinda my point, yet we have to approach

    • hmmm i didn't know that tbh im really shy so it would be more of a fear lol im quite submisive when it comes to relationships anyway so its prevents me doing a lot of stuff and over thinking simple stuff like laying in bed to worried to move incase i wake the other up or asking for favours like getting something of a shelf to high. i thinks its more to do with my past experience with ex as it was a bad 3 years. i would rather struggle doing stuff myself than ask for help so asking someone to be mine would be a nightmare for me to try. im sorry i couldnt be much help. im hoping to see other girls comment

Most Helpful Guy

  • Plain and simple. Women offer more value as far as reproduction. There will always be another guy that is interested in her. Men have to compete and one of the rituals in competition is making the first move.

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    • What about people who do not want kids? Are men not seen with reproductive value as well?

    • Sperm is cheap. Eggs are expensive. The question of "what if they don't want kids" is interesting. I can't tell if biology or sociallogy would win. I am not qualified to answer beyond that.

    • That's fair

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's all about rejection. I don't think most women could handle it so well plus there's that fear aspect of it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Because if the woman makes the first move, some reel bullsh1t happens. Tested many times.

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  • I can see where you're coming from, however if I'm being honest, I have had plenty of girls make the first move. Maybe guys are generally just more interested, and therefore make the first move more often?

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    • Both parties are generally interested, but for some reason it falls on the guy. Perhaps you are getting approached because of age? Maybe the social custom of "men approach" becomes more relevant as we age? It would make sense for women, if men do the approaching, they can sit back and wait, they have no other motive to approach, because we do it for them.

    • I see it all the time, I don't think it falls on age... Maybe it's just a cultural thing? Sculpted over hundreds of years.

    • Perhaps, I have no clue tbh

  • So women can judge us in that first 8s it takes to make there mind about you.

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    • Do we not have the right to do the same?

    • You mean cutting them off mid sentence? Bc im sure most guys will hear them out before making a decision if they like her bc men have it beat into there head to be nice to girls

    • No. I mean we judging them in that first 8 seconds

  • Cause men have that testosterone advantage.

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    • Which means what exactly?

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    • Well we have other advantages so it all balances out.

    • True, we don't get pregnant

  • ya I've always resented it

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