(Also, you are more than welcome to vent about personal experiences. Just let it all out and be open. I'd love to listen.) This is a very sensitive topic so I added a trigger warning at the top. Thank you in advance!
1) Are you usually a calm person? Patient? Level headed?
2) Guys: What would you do if you found out your female friend/relative is in an abusive relationship? (If this happened, describe everything that happened)
3) Guys: If your female friend being abused infront of You? (If this happened, describe everything that happened)
4) Guys: (if this applies to you) What signs did you notice that she was being abused? Her behavior? Was she more closed off, defensive, anxious, etc?
5) How did she react when confronted?
6) Girls: If you were previously in an abusive relationship, how did it make you feel? What persuaded you to stay? Or what made you feel like you had to?
7) Girls: How did he act around other people? How did he act if he was confronted? Did he get defensive or anything of the sort?
8) Girls: How did the abuse start? How did it build up? Was it just an "accident" that happened to build up?
Ugh I want to ask more questions but I can't think of what exactly I'm trying to ask. 🤦 if you want to add anything, you're more than welcome to. The more information, the better. If I have more questions I'll just update.
If you or someone you loved was in a abusive relationship, I deeply apologize and I sincerely hope you are getting better. You did not deserve it.
You are more than welcome to answer these anonymously. You are also more than welcome to just vent. Write a long paragraph if you need to. Or message me. I just feel awful for people who had to go through those things.
Most Helpful Guy
1) I know why you did it but I think you should not only ask for violence man => woman. I think you'll get more to the question and would remind people that man abuse still exist tho it's not the major issue.
2) answers. I am a real calm person, really peaceful and all I always try to find the good in all things. The thing is, I am 1.97m for 100+ kg and tend to become quite the opposite when pushed to my limits.
I've never encountered those situations but I know what's at stake and all, in France at least I know that the police would be the good call but if they don't have proof that will turn ugly. Do I guess my first natural reaction would be to beat the shit out of that guy but that's more am instinct than it is a solution :/1
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Most Helpful Girl
I wouldn't describe myself as calm. I'm quite passionate and will always step up to defend people. It often gets me in trouble.
I have witnessed several female friends with abusive husbands, but not physically abusive. These men are emotionally abusive. I recognise these men pretty quickly, in fact I was dating a man recently and I found out about a month and a half in that he was not what I thought.
Abusive relationships of any kind always start with the abuser undermining the confidence of their partner. It may start out so small to seem insignificant. You might not even take it seriously because it seems so tiny.
The guy I was dating would tell me I was self absorbed. He then started telling me things he didn't like, like my son's name. It seemed silly, but it started to emerge as a pattern. I didn't hang around.
It can be a long game of making someone feel worthless. Years of put downs and let downs. By the time physical abuse starts, the victim feels like they deserve it.1