Would you change your lifestyle for your other half?

My boyfriend is vegetarian and so is his family - they are Indian. I’m a meat eater and have been all my life - I’m Chinese. My boyfriend told me because I will be moving into his house who he lives with his widowed mother, I cannot eat meat in the house or even bring any meat into the house. I don’t know how I feel about it as a long term permanent thing because I know marriage is on the cards. He says eating meat outside of the house is fine, just not in the family Home especially since I will be living with his widowed mother.

Is he asking too much? Would you change your lifestyle for your other half just to be with him? Do you think he is not being considerate of how I feel. It’s a topic that we discuss a lot, but it’s always me who have to change and adapt l. I’m very respectful that they are vegetarians and even when eating out a lot of the time I make sure he eats well and I sometimes already sacrifice my meats habit as we share food.

What do you think? What would you do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on how drastically I need to change my lifestyle. I'm writing a science fiction novel, so I'm definitely not going to stop that. I also eat healthy and exercise a few days a week, so I'm definitely not changing that. I love playing occasional video games and watching scifi, that's part of who I am.

    Overall, I suppose if my future girlfriend had a request that was manageable and didn't screw up my daily life. Than I'd consider it, otherwise, she would simply need to get use to the way I currently am.

    ALSO, if someone were to ask me to change my lifestyle for them, I would ask her if she was equally willing and devoted to changing something about herself. Not necessarily because I would want her to change, but simply, because if she's willing to ask me to change, she'd best consider the same for fairness.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest with you if you're not looking to follow his instructions as the head of the household over your life is best for you to let him go. This is something that you need to talk about way before you even decide to become official or even think about dating. If you're so used to eating meat and you have no plans on trying to change it for yourself it makes no sense for you to do it for him just for you to be miserable in the end. You would not have a happy marriage that way let alone a healthy one. You also need to think about how it's going to affect children if you were to have kids. Having separate and different viewpoints is going to severely damaged their thought pattern and psyche that they will eventually try to teach themselves. And that is not a good thing. I always wrong when I said he's not being considerate of how you personally feel but if you have any objections you need to personally tell him right away. This is obviously something that you cannot live with. And again if you're not willing to sacrifice that your best to let him go. It may be best for you guys to be as friends but you guys are definitely not compatible as potential lovers and spouses.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • I think your boyfriend is being ridiculous and completely unreasonable. You should be allowed to eat whatever you want in your own home, regardless of how he or his mother feels.
    It's not like you're forcing them to eat it with you.

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  • I wouldn't give up meat for any girl personally. I would accommodate my partner's lifestyle not change. So in your case a fair compromise would be to you eat your meals and they can eat their meals.

    I guess it's harder for you since you are not buying a house together but moving into someone else's, but saying i couldn't outright do something in the place im *supposed* to be calling home is a dealbreaker.

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  • Wait even i m Indian but we dont ask girls to change according to what boy family is. Also, my cousin is vegetarian but his wife is ukranian and she eats beef n chicken n all. His family doesn't bother her. Check his family out may b they r some stubborn people n backward thinking guys. Just b sure if u really want to marry such kind f guy who wants u to change.

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  • I could maybe adjust but to change it entirely? That means they don't accept me at my core.

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  • Yes, he is demanding too much, he knew that you were a meat eater when you got together, so he should respect that or move on

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  • That is quite a change and one that shouldn't be forced on someone.

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  • I wouldn't... I love meat... I need meat... I don't need a gf/bf...

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  • You should never change just to please someone else.

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  • No but it doesn't hurt to try

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What Girls Said 11

  • Conpsomise is important in a relationship, but something like that is major. If his family doesn’t allow meat in their home, that’s up to them. It’s their right to establish that rule. However, I wouldn’t live with them permanently if I was in your position. I'd work towards finding my own home where I could make my own rules.

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    • I guess I’m not clear on whether this is something HE expects, or something his mother expects. I personally would not become a vegetarian for my SO and I would not avoid meat in my own home long term. If we are living together it is OUR home, not just his- I have as much a right to eat meat in my own home as he does to choose not to. We can cook vegetarian meals together out of respect for his lifestyle choices, but I will be allowed to keep meat in the house. That’s my idea of a compromise. His mom is a different story though.

  • Not at all. I'm not going to change who I am as a person just to please someone else. People have tried that in the past and I basically told em to fuck off. Not saying you should do that of course, but I don't think it's fair how you are having to change who you are to please someone else at the expense of your happiness. In the end it is up to you of course, and this is just my opinion.

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  • I would expect a compromise, not a demand.
    But I think I'll steal someone else's answer. You should feel like you live there, and not be treated like a guest, and that seems like a rule given to a guest.

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  • itd depend on the reason like im not going to not wear t shirts bc it offends someone -bc that makes me uncomfortable- but would give up a substance in someones parents house that they also dont have bc thats about the tem not about 'me'

    I would not add anything. like id give up meat if i was meat eater, I would not eat it if i was vegetarian. just to appease.

    since in this scenario, I can eat meat outside its not like id be deprived, but to eat meat when i dont that'd be changing who i am. so i wouldn't do that, but im ok giving things up for a few hours a day. thats not changing me its just being courteous, but long term you'll want to be at ease in your home, so its your call.

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  • If that's the reason? No. I think that's selfish of him. It was him and his mom's decision not to eat meat. It was your decision to be a meat eater. He knew what you were before he got with you. Expecting you to change and he's not willing to meet you half way is utter nonsense. I'm a middle eastern woman and Indian's are very controlling. You think you're only going to be told what to eat or not? No. You're going to be under both of their control with everything else. If you plan to move in with them, I'd just give them your entire life on a silver platter. I'm not even trying to be rude. I know what's in store because I am Arab and we are very similar to them. If that's the kind of life you like to live, by all means. I'm just warning you. It's not going to be easy. Some women like that control, some don't.

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  • As a vegetarian my answer would be a no you should not. You will also be living with them, it should also be your house. You are not a quest and should be comfortable. If you dont want to be a vegetarian, dont be. This is controlling. If he really likes you, he should not care.
    There are things I do when my friends stay over and cook meat, such as open the windows, ask them to close my bedroom door so the smell does not come in etc. But that is compromise. They can still eat whatever they want.

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  • I mean I could handle being vegetarian so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal for me

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  • i would change if they are willing to change for me

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  • no no no noooooooo

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  • Hell no.

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  • For him I would to some extent, but not the whole family too. lol. That's just not fair! You can't possibly both move into your own place?

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