Do you know what it is like to search so hard for something for years and all has failed?

I would say my search began around 2015.

This is a burden that has been a living nightmare for me. I have not really been happy for many, many years.

I have some good days, but it takes a lot of distraction. All that distraction does is put a temporary mask on the issue. It is still not a permenant solution.

I so desperately want a woman who has never had her first love. See, I am 23 and never had an actual girlfriend. I see guys even more unattractive than me have more relationship experience.

Look at the church shooter in Texas. He dated a beautiful girl and met her in middle school. They dated for 3 years and he even took her virginity.

I am incredibly lonely. Ever since I was young, I wanted a girlfriend, that companionship. It was painful walking the halls of my highschool watching couples.
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I distract myself by programming. Php, Js, HTML, CSS, amd SQL are my thing.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know


Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you just complaining, or are you looking for a solution? Because you could have a girlfriend if you wanted one and were willing to work for it (though at your age, asking for "a girl who hasn't had her first love" is unrealistic), but if you don't make some serious changes and make some serious efforts, nothing is going to change.

    You're probably a great programmer, but you're a lousy dater - not because you lack potential, but because you never PRACTICE. You're like a kid who grew up dreaming of hitting home runs like Barry Bonds, but you never played little league or even swung a bat. Barry Bonds got those homeruns because he focused his whole life on being able to hit homeruns against Major League pitchers.

    If you want to get girls, you need to focus a significant amount of your time, energy, and effort on getting girls. That means cleaning yourself up, putting on some stylish clothes, getting a fresh haircut, and GOING OUTSIDE and spending a LOT of time in places where single women are likely to be. Then, once you are there, you must actually TALK with them, and keep talking with more and more and more women until you can do it comfortably. Once you can do that, you can start asking them out.

    There's no shortcuts - you've likely avoided doing the above all of your life, while the guys who get girls have been doing it daily since they were 12. They PRACTICED, and they got good at it. You can do the same, but without the practice, you won't get good, and you won't get a girlfriend and you'll be alone.

    I'm sorry if you don't like that reality, but that's how it is, and nothing you or I or anyone else can do is going to change it. That's the game, and you have to play by the rules and practice a lot if you ever hope to win.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • This journey could be a long one my friend. For many of us, finding that right person can be an epic adventure of endless failure and rejection, but that should never stop you from trying. The worst thing you can do is let all your failures make you jaded and bitter. It will show! You need to stay positive no matter what. Maximize your marketability. Online there are thousands of dating gurus that can give you advice. If there is something about yourself that you think is holding you back or hindering your dating chances, then CHANGE IT! If you are truly sick of being alone.. and I mean TRULY sick of it, you WILL make changes to improve your chances. I know this path you're walking all too well. Good luck and keep your chin up. Make today the day you make changes to help yourself succeed.

    • Thank you. That was really touching. My standards are very high though, but they are important to me.

  • Love takes time and I know how it feels. Eventually, most people find love. Just don't let it make you bitter and closed off. I know it maybe hard to change this belief and you might down right hate it but almost everyone you meet is going to have baggage and after the age of 25 most women you will meet have had a relationship. It does not make them damaged and neither does not being in a relationship. If you can let that one thing go, it will make this search so much easier.
    Put a positive spin on the fact that the girl is no longer a virgin and has all that sexual experience.
    Why? Because it is indeed mostly positive. Her sexual experience will help both of you during the first time that you have sex with her. She might teach you a few things that you wouldn’t have learned from a girl who has never been with a man before.
    You must stop seeking and expecting perfection from every aspect of your dating situation.

  • Sounds like you need to lower your standards or look in diffrent places.

    • From your edit I'd say there is a pretty good chance you're looking in the wrong place.

    • I juat date online. I am easily triggered when there is an attractive girl I talk to and find out her history. Seeing young couples trigger me. For example, I saw a teen couple at this Christmas light display the other day and it hurt.

    • Wrong places? I would say try church if you are religious.

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