Very well said!!! Thanks for sharing this, really appreciate it
Clingy is not the same as being attatched. Clingy is annoying, cumbersome, & suffocating.
@Mexicoman101 It depends on who you ask.
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Obviously you've never had 1
Trust me there's nothing cute about an overly attached partner. Showing appreciation for your partner =/= being overly attached. My brother had a girlfriend who was overly attached. She would cry if he was 5 minutes late to a date. She never wanted to go out and didn't want to let him go out, she preferred guilt-tripping him into staying in with her. Pretty much anything would make her cry and then he had to sit there and listen to it for hours. She was very anxious in general (which sorta comes with the territory of being attached) so yeah. Nothing cute or funny about it.
@lumos I don't know. That doesn't sound like overly attached, but rather crazy (not necessairly about someone). How did she take a breakup?
Yeah no, your idea of what overly attached is, is just wrong. She wasn't crazy by any means. Just emotional, anxious, jealous -> all things that come with being overly attached. You sound like you just want a sweet girl who can be protective of you, which I wouldn't consider overly attached. Overly attached is literally someone who's so dependent on you that they'll start overreacting to the smallest things and will literally try to prohibit you from doing things if it involves other girls and sometimes even just other people. They'll become very jealous very fast, and very emotional.
She took the breakup ok, they had been talking about her issues for a while. Some of her issues weren't even because of their relationship, like I said she was an anxious person in general. But basically she could see it coming and she probably felt a bit exhausted at the end of it too. They both knew it was for the best.
@lumos oh wow was I wrong... Thank yoi for explaining me stuff
Lumos just described my last perfectly!
No problem :P it just rubs me the wrong way when people say that they want their partner to be jealous or dependent or attached... like no, you really really really don’t haha. You want your partner to be cute and sometimes protective, and attentive. Those are all positive traits. None of the other ones are positive, they’re destructive and toxic!
Yeah. Its mentally draining and breaks you down when they are overbearing. My ex had a million great qualities but overtime this jealousy and possessiveness was enough to mask any of tje good.I moved to her country. I didn't make a single friend over 2-3 years.. usually i go to a place and have friends within a day or 2. It grinds you down.I also got bad anxiety from it. Lesson i learned: somebody whose drowning will drown you too
@johnboymuscles jealousy is good I think, but in moderate amount. Possessivness (too many S's?) is not good I think. But i disagree. Somebody who's drowning won't drown you if you don't let them.
Jealousy comes from insecurity and a lack of trust. If you think thats good for your partner you must be insecure about youself. The metaphor: if they are clinging onto you, and they're drowning. You're going down too. Unless what? You let them go. Like we already established though you've never had it so you're not talking from knowledge or experience.
@johnboymuscles that's true, never had it
When you grow up you'll realize the sad truth that talk is cheap.
@yousir Seems like a start at least to me
Don't get me wrong, kid. Most of us would love for the world to be that simple. Things just get more complicated the older you get. Today if a girl says that to you you'll melt. If the same thing happens ten years from now you'll be wondering what she wants from you.
Tbh, I have never said those three words to my boyfriend... because I'm waiting for him to say it first so that I won't make a fool of myself. I just feel like nowadays, those three words can become so scary that a person may run away after hearing it- which is sad
That's tuff... Hope I don't have to go through stuff like that lol. Personally i'd be really happy if a girl said that to me.
That's a step that you need to take. A smart man is not going to get all mushy with a woman that's not even confident enough in their relationship to take that step.If that scares him away then he's not looking to get serious anyway, so you're saving yourself a lot of wasted time.
Oh god... so does that mean men are actually expecting women to say those three words first? It's scary! I don't think I'm ready yet :(
Yes, you should say it first. But if you're not ready then don't do it. It should come naturally when you're with him because he should make you feel comfortable enough to say it.
May I ask how long would be the appropriate time to say it? Some articles say around 3 months, some say a year lol. What are your thoughts on that?
It's whenever you feel comfortable saying it. People like making the mistake of thinking there exists a road map for what the perfect relationship should be. There should come a time when you look in his eyes and are so carried away you can't help but say it. If that time doesn't come then maybe you're not as into him as you think. Maybe it's just a phase.How long have you been dating? If it's been a long time and you're still stuck at this crossroads then maybe he's not reciprocating like he should be. As you grow closer, a man should make you feel secure enough to open up to him about this.
We've been only together for a month and half. Thank you so much for responding to my questions!!! Your answers have given me some new insights on how a relationship should work. Thank you x100
Of course. We all could use some advice from time to time. There's really no need to overanalyze your relationship. As long as you enjoy spending time with someone, just keep doing it. The rest will work itself out naturally.