If the dynamic of your relationship has changed, should you just end it?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months, but it’s had a lot of ups and downs - we had a brief breakup, and we do argue, yet would always patch things up.

I feel the dynamic has changed since our last argument and he comes across not bothered in asking questions, staying in touch, whereas I try to maintain a conversation and he doesn’t. So it’s hard to keep up the romance vibes to be honest. And if I’m struggling to find things to talk about, he cuts the conversation short and says things like ‘well if you don’t have things to say, then I’m off’

Should I just end it? Or is it just a phase? How to change the dynamic back?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • in my opinion, things like what you're describing should happen after 2-3 years at least.
    in order to lose every interest and fight for conversations.. and attention.. just after 4 months...
    sorry to ask this private question, but what did you base your relationship on?
    :/ you have aroused my curiosity.

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    • Well we were really into each other at the beginning and had so much to talk about, would be on the phone for hours - 4 months felt like years and now I feel like there’s no effort made from him because he’s ‘busy and tired’, and doesn’t do the things he used to do at the start and because of his excuse plus the arguing, compatibility issues/dynamics seem to have changed

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    • There is a lot of basic affection, but the past two weeks, it’s been dead. I’m thinking of ending it once and for all, but in the new year since I feel he just isn’t bothered and just wants ‘someone’ next to him. Sure tell me your opinion.

    • Well, if its nust 2 weeks, i dont know if its a good idea to decide ending it...

      But generally, when people flip and change their behaviour too fast, it insinuates that they have found or in a progress of finding someone else.
      I dont know why we all do that, i always tried not to get involved with others, but what I've seen in life is almost always like that.
      If his behaviour is *always* cutting you off, and bored.. It might be it..
      But for example, if people still show some affection from time to time, and all of a sudden back to their natural "i dont give a shit" behaviour, it means they try to put you on low flame.. Since they are not sure in what they have on their side.
      A confidence of a man while changing versions.. Tells a lot about where he stands, and more important.. Between which people he stands..

Most Helpful Girl

  • I dont see y not, seems like if they've checked out of the relationship then you might as well just officially end things

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What Guys Said 16

  • All that in only four months? Bail out! Don't waste time on anyone who doesn't value your company or makes you feel as if you're not enough.

    You can't change the dynamic back because it wasn't you who changed it to what it is now. Trust experience on this. You're in for years of self-doubt, heartache, and slowly losing sense of yourself if you stay.

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  • If you're nothing feeling well in your relationship the primer thing to do is sit down and talk about it... Try to get it changed to better... If it can't be worked out... Or he refuses to hear/understand your feelings... Yeah, I'm sorry but is better to end if you get dragged into a deeper problem

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  • Well, I can see where you're coming from. Change is inevitable. The thing you need to contemplate are : 1) How do you feel about that change? 2) If your feeling about tye change tell you otherwise then are you willing to adopt to the change? 3) Do you have the ability to undo/modify that change? 4) after all the above is sorted out, Is it really worth it? You will get your answer. I hope that helps

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  • Try having both of you sit down and talk about the flow of how your relationship is going. Sometimes a little wake up call is in order in relationships to remind their partner that they could lose them.

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  • I think break ups are quite important to give both persons air to grow. For me it seems to be this phase in the relationship where both need this air to grow but nobody wants to break up because break ups do hurt and are difficult. But breaking up does not outclude coming back together some day again. But it's just my ideas think about it really good before you decide...

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  • A relationship will always be dynamic, meaning it's constantly changing. The real question is whether you think it's headed in an irreversible direction that you're not happy with.

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  • I think you entered stage 2 of a romance, it gets to normality! He thinks it's obvious that he loves you but he is over the immense flirting, getting more serious

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  • Not the right guy. He's a jerk. Realize it now before it's too late.

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  • Sounds like to me he wants you to end because he doesn't the guts to, I say this from experience unfortunately.

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  • Its just a phase. I been through it. its like a test. This will make your love more stronger 💓

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What Girls Said 2

  • Leave him before he leaves you and watch him switch up to get you back

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  • If its this rough this soon. I would end it. Good luck!

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