Please Help-- I can't be free of guilt and live my life without knowing?

Over a year ago I lost my virginity to a guy I had just met that night. He was a virgin, too, super drunk, and doesn't really remember anything. We didn't even have full-blown intercourse; he was terrible and we stopped after 2 minutes. Super embarrassing.

Well, at the time, the guy I had been talking to for about a month was back home and we no longer really communicated (we weren't talking anymore at this point). It was to my understanding that he and I were now just friends.

Flash forward a couple months; he and I are now dating. He thinks he took my virginity, and I agreed with him and haven't told him the truth. I just told him that the random guy and I made out.

Flash forward to now, and we are engaged. I am so paranoid that he is going to find out; only one person knows, and that one person now hates my guts haha he once was my best friend and has texts as evidence of the night I had with that random.

I am paranoid now that since my life is perfect, that this will come crushing my relationship down. The old friend and my boyfriend don't communicate, nor do they ever see one another, but they do have mutual friends.

I don't know if this would ever come up in a convo? I know I am overthinking. I just want advice and no, I am not going to tell my boyfriend the truth-- we weren't even dating at the time, and I have been cheated on by him multiple times. I just need reassurance. Do guys keep their texts? Do guys gossip (they're in their early 20's)? Would a guy bring this up to another guy, randomly/out of hate, about their girlfriend/fiancee?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Whole thing is lined up to fail.
    -You're engaged to someone who cheated on you
    -You lied about something that can be crucial to some
    -That lie is out there with someone who doesn't like and won't care to hide your secret

    • True. It has been over a year, though. And as far as my boyfriend goes--- he is a new person. We both are. We've never been better. I just need to know if you think the ex-bestie would say anything? I feel like he should be mature about it all, maybe it isn't even on his mind, and maybe he doesn't even still have that text convo from over a year ago?

    • Why would he feel the need to say anything? He's probably happy he's done with you so I'd say the likelihood of it being brought up is about 5-10%

Most Helpful Girl

  • just be honest with him. I don't think its a big deal its not like you cheated. he will be upset you led him to believe he was your first but if he breaks up with you because of that then he was never meant to be in the first place

    • If he's cheated on you multiple times then you are stupid to accept a proposal. no offense but this is how your marriage will turn out. you marry cheats, have a child to save the marriage he still cheats. change yourself to who he wants and he still cheats then you will forever be in an unhappy marriage with a man who walks all over you. end it now or you will forever regret it

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What Guys Said 3

  • The whole relationship seems to be leading to certain doom. So many lies from both sides and hidden secrets. Just end it before you end up in divorce court.

  • Dude don't even worry about it if he ever find out wish I highly doubt he ever will tell him you lied to that person you told to seem interesting

  • If this is all its going to take to wreak things then get out now


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