Please Help-- I can't be free of guilt and live my life without knowing?

Anonymous
Over a year ago I lost my virginity to a guy I had just met that night. He was a virgin, too, super drunk, and doesn't really remember anything. We didn't even have full-blown intercourse; he was terrible and we stopped after 2 minutes. Super embarrassing.

Well, at the time, the guy I had been talking to for about a month was back home and we no longer really communicated (we weren't talking anymore at this point). It was to my understanding that he and I were now just friends.

Flash forward a couple months; he and I are now dating. He thinks he took my virginity, and I agreed with him and haven't told him the truth. I just told him that the random guy and I made out.

Flash forward to now, and we are engaged. I am so paranoid that he is going to find out; only one person knows, and that one person now hates my guts haha he once was my best friend and has texts as evidence of the night I had with that random.

I am paranoid now that since my life is perfect, that this will come crushing my relationship down. The old friend and my boyfriend don't communicate, nor do they ever see one another, but they do have mutual friends.

I don't know if this would ever come up in a convo? I know I am overthinking. I just want advice and no, I am not going to tell my boyfriend the truth-- we weren't even dating at the time, and I have been cheated on by him multiple times. I just need reassurance. Do guys keep their texts? Do guys gossip (they're in their early 20's)? Would a guy bring this up to another guy, randomly/out of hate, about their girlfriend/fiancee?
Please Help-- I can't be free of guilt and live my life without knowing?
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