Not sure about how I feel anymore?

Whenever I go out with my girlfriends I get a lot of guy attention. My boyfriend knows this as I’m honest with him and tell him how my nights were. I thought I was being good with honesty so it doesn’t make him feel like I’m going out to get guys. I go just to have a girls night. But the last time I told him he got really insecure (he said he was insecure) and thought that the things I wear are too slutty and I do it on purpose for attention. I disagreed and was confused why now he said this after being together for over 8 years. What really hurt me was he said I act like a slut and always have with the slutty dresses I wear and that I do it on purpose. Since then I haven’t wanted to be close to him at all & he apologised and said he was feeling insecure and he knows he gets like it sometimes and fucks up. He’s also been trying to make an effort in taking me out more and more affectionate toward me. But I just feel like what he said can’t pass me. I’m not one for holding things against people and I will happily move past every argument we have but this time feels different. I feel really hurt by him and I’m not sure what to say to him to express my feelings. I don’t want an argument out of this so that’s why I’m holding back on talking to him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's a man, men are barbarians in mind. Maybe try telling him the real reason you dress the way you do when going out. I'm sure it's more to show off to your friends that you still have the LOOKS. I know women can be just as competitive as men so when my wife goes out with her friends I mind not at all what she wears. I am an insecure male also because of my own reasons but if my wife told me she was hit on while she was out I would ask for more details because she's mine and he couldn't have her. Yes that would excite me. Good luck remember communication helps, it has in my 20 years with my lady

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What Guys Said 5

  • One thing cleared here is he is deeply in luv with u and truly loving u thts why not only him who loves sincerely behaves same way gets insecure and always think for loved ones good but girl don't understand it they value ego than the person who luv u don't do same

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    • We have never not trusted each other and we are a very strong couple but his comments made me feel that I was wrong about how much he actually trusts me

  • Well every extreme stuff is awful for us. If the lady dresses up too nude or "slutty", as you say... Or if the lady dresses up too conservative is as terrible as nude. The thing you don't like is the "insecurity" of your guy. Normally the guy should act like "Hey, I'm the boss, nobody can take my woman and keep his teeth in his mouth". But he's just b1tching, like a girl. Well another thing is that you spend nights apart, that's just awkward. In such a grown-up age. Should've made 2-3 kids already =D

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    • We have children together

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    • He even admitted he knows that’s how I have always dressed when going out so I’m just really confused

    • Really no idea, what kind of person he is... Hope you'll be well both. Can't make any advise, you know him better.

  • God you must be beautiful to make a guys feel insecure about himself after this many years. It's not like he trusts you. He doesn't trust the other guys. So he doesn't know how nito express that shit and spit out bad words. It happens all the time.

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  • Give him a chance... stuff like that happens to us guys

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  • His reaction was wrong, but also probably a quick, impulsive counter to the pain he felt in his chest.

    In the future I recommend not discussing so much about all the attention you receive and try to highlight other parts of the night.

    I wouldn't mind you going out looking nice and you're free to feel good in a social setting with friends. I just don't need to know and would prefer not to know there were others who liked you in your dress as much as I did.
    Although, if there's a funny story behind it I don't mind a good chuckle every now and then.

    You need to let him know how it made you feel, and let it pass. No need to hold onto impulsive behavior that can poison a beautiful thing.

    Love is special, love is kind. Best of luck!

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