Why does my boyfriend never want to just hangout?

Whenever his family is away, and we have the chance to hangout at his house, he never wants to. He never wants to just chill at home, the two of us. We always have to be out doing something (i. e., movies, parties, art museums, dinners, hanging out with friends, etc.) However, when his parents are out, and if they’re gone for the whole day, or the whole week (like this week, they went on a trip back to their hometown - my boyfriend didn’t go with them), he asked me if i wanted to go over to his house later (clearly meaning for sex), but he didn’t invite me over to just hangout and have quality time. I feel like a booty call. I don't know, maybe because his sister is still at home with him, and i haven’t met his family yet and that’s not how he wants me to meet her? I have no idea.

I just feel sad, because usually when you date someone, you spend quality time at their home with them, just hanging out and being together. I wonder, if i was married to him, would we even live in the same home?


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What Guys Said 2

  • perhaps if the relationship is still new, thats what he's interested in.

    perhaps a bit later on his focus will shift.

    obviously when you would be married you'd live together.

    have you guys recently started dating?

    • We’ve been together 1.5 years.

    • wow.. thats certainly a point where the sex shouldn't be the priority, the best thing that i could think of is to talk to him about this, let him know that you sometimes feel like this.

      perhaps he doesn't see it that way and by talking you guys can work things out :)

  • You know, I'm sort of torn when I read your post because I would say that most women your age suffer from the opposite -- the guy never takes them out. In some of the worst cases, the girl ends up sitting at home with the guy watching him play on his Xbox! I would say that I'm also the type who always takes the girl out and to be honest, I consider that to be a greater gesture than just having her sit on the couch at my place. I'm not completely convinced that the latter is more "quality time" than taking someone to a museum or walking along the waterfront together. I mean, when you're out at dinners or museums, aren't you two talking the whole time?

    • I mean, quality time as in hanging out at his house. Maybe watch movies, or YouTube videos or play video games together. Or, maybe cook together, do anything basically.

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    • I mean. There are some things i would like. I would like that me and my boyfriend see each other more (yes, i have voiced this). Also, we’ve been together 1.5 years, and i still haven’t met his family. And when i ask him to meet mine, he stalls it. I think maybe he is nervous, or maybe he doesn’t see me as long term potential :/

    • You know, that's the part that bothers me the most -- the fact that he doesn't seem to want to meet your family. I would say that for me, meeting the family is a big thing. No casual women have ever met my family and in my 41 years of life, I've only introduced two women to them -- one of whom I married (and divorced). The other one? The girl that I think I was REALLY supposed to married instead. So yeah, when you say that he doesn't see you as long term... I suppose it's possible given his hesitance to meet your family, but I've never stuck around a woman for more than a few months if I didn't see her as long term.

What Girls Said 1

  • Do you both live at home with your parents?


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