Why do guys expect something if they take a girl on a date?

I was talking to this guy about how i don’t get asked on dates so he messaged me saying he would take me out to get to know me. I was excited until he said something along the lines
of “we can go to the movies , get dinner and then i can eat you out “ .. this automatically pissed me off. And this isn’t the first time where a guy wants to go on a date just to get sexual favor in return. I’m not a girl who likes to sleep around with guys so with that being said i was very offended. I don’t get why guys need to know they are gonna get something in return if they take a girl out. Is it the guy who’s wrong or am i being old school

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He reminds me of the quote, "God gave man a penis and a brain but not enough blood to use both at the same time."
    I agree with you, why can't you go on a date and enjoy it without jumping straight into sex? The guy is a jerk, forget him and you'll get a real guy sooner or later.

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What Guys Said 16

  • That particular example was less of him getting something out of you and more so him giving you everything.

    I think you're jumping the gun abit. Since you're "old school" like myself. I'll simulate the desire conversation for a gal like you;

    " Hey, you know, you're really cool. I feel super comfortable with you. I want to take you out to get to know you more, can we go on a date? I noticed you have a thing for _____ movies and deep dish pizza. Maybe we can talk it over afterwards."

    Part of the date would be simple, gentlemanly gestures of walking on the road side of the street, opening doors for you, keeping my hands to myself and assisting you with things you request. Formally, as the one asking you out I would handle the finances for the outing, where as added luxuries you desire would be purchased by you. The night would end, and if you're comfortable with it, I'd escort you to your home to secure your safety. But if you're not, I'd call (or you call) a ride to still ensure your safety back home.

    That sort of process is not far from many people's minds. The problem is a lot people's focus with many dates isn't the date but the afterwards.

    I've personally courted several girls that, in order to cut to the chase, would rather come over the house to watch netflix and chill because its understood that netflix and chilling would expedite sexual tensions.

    For other men who are very passionate about impressing a lady, would try to cover all their bases. Including offering their sexual ability to try and secure her attention in order to win her favor. Either to text him back, to let them go out again, or so they can cut to the chase and cap off the whole one night stand with the greatest day of their life.

    But m'lady. It all just comes down to communication. And these numerous intentions being communicated with both parties involved.

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    • Okay soo how is he giving me everything? I’m confused

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    • It’s stupid for him to assume i would let him.. guys are idiots

    • Yes well, its just as important to communicate that was stupid, to him. The trial and error lets him adapt and grow as a man. Expecting people to have class and good up bringing is just as bad as people expecting their fantasy dates.

  • Your vagina shouldn't have to be a form of exchange with someone who happens to throw money time and attention at you. Expecting something from any small or big thing you do shows they lack humility and self respect. You don't need anyone like that in your life a good person never demands or assumes you owe him /her anything.

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  • Yeah, that just depends who you meet.

    For myself, a date is a invitation, I invite her out to dinner or whatever and since I invited her I pay. Since I invited her that also means I get nothing in return as she is a guest. I suppose if she asked me out, she would be paying. Kinda gray in that aspect, anyway, it just depends who you meet.

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    • The whole point of the date is to spend time with that person and get to know them. Guys think with their dicks too much

    • Well, yes, but look at the society we are being raised in. If you live in the US as myself, it makes total sense why this is happening. For example, porn is everywhere, social media, drugs, alcohol, etc. etc. etc. all forms of instant gratification that we have never had before are available without having to work for it. Now we live in a me me me, society, chasing self pleasure. Now this isn't everyone obviously, however I would say there is a considerable amount. Another huge thing is that we live in the aftermath of the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s - 1970s. Men used to have to raise their standards for woman, but now, it isn't as complicated because some women give sex up easier than they used too. Now men don't have to try for sex, it is far easier and they remain the same, they don't have to step up. If all women were to hold off sex, men would have to rise to the standard.

      Now, this isn't all people I hope, however, if woman want men to change, they have the power to do so.

    • Yeah I’m from the US too and your point make a lot of sense

  • it's pretty simple but also very stupid, guys believe that because they've "done" something for you and paid for the date that they are en entitled to some kind of "reward" being you in this case.
    best way to avoid this is to insist on paying half then he can't expect a thing..

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  • Other girls have ruined dating. There's almost not a point of taking a girl out anymore because it's so easy to get sex. If a girl isn't going to put out then a lot of times for guys it's just better not even to waste your time, if there's so many other girls who will put out without even going on a date

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  • That's just the wrong type of guy. A good guy won't expect that, but gonna have to be patient to find that.

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  • I understand, something similar happened to me. But as I see it, the dirtybag though that because you don't get ask out you don't get nothing so you would be needy. So he just make a too straightforward move. Which obviously went downhill. Not all guys are that way but the majority think about it.
    They expect to get something because they put effort and spend money and time and would be feel the need of getting something in return.
    What happen to me was different, college girl super smart but a real dive, I try the smart nice guy apptoach. I talked to her without doing any moves, she liked how I was. So eventually one day, on a spring break I ask her what she wanted to do in the spring break. She told me: I want to go play tennis, go to the movies, and have sex; and in that order. That was a good break.

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  • A lot of this is coming from the sick society you live in. Look at the garbage girls post on here. They talk about their "friend with benefits" like they're talking about getting their nails done. Talk about five different guys and ask for help understanding why one screws them this way and another does it differently. They have 0 moral compass it's as if that part of their brain is just shut down or never even formed. I feel bad for healthy people like yourself. The pigs your dealing with are used to girls like that. They probably don't believe any other kind exist. Personally , I'm glad you do.

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  • Oh wow, that is way too forward for me. I think he's in the wrong.

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  • It's upto his behavioral attitude and the sexitude... haha. no matter whether you are old school or not

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