Guys, How Important is a Woman's Financial Situation When Deciding to Enter a LTR With Her?

I don't see it discussed here often. I hear women talk about a man's financial situation and earning power as a factor in choosing a relationship. I think I am the only guy here that openly talks about how bad credit and a low paying job are deal breakers for me. I hear about looks or body size. I hear about sexual past. I hear about whether or not they have children. I hear whether or not they are good in bed. I hear about all these deal breakers and finances are never mentioned. Some women here are at least smart enough to make being a broke ass a deal breaker. Why aren't men smart enough to do the same? I shake my head when guys complain about women being a gold-digger. In at least 50% of the cases what men call a gold-digger is really women just wanting a man who is financially stable. Not one who works 2 jobs and lives at home so he can afford his big ass truck. Inability to budget money is a sickness. Almost as bad as a drug addiction. Why is a low credit score and lack of earning power not a deal breaker for men like it is with women? I've met guys who fall in love with broke ass women who earn minimum wage, have bad credit, and spend the equivalent of a car payment on their hair and nails. WTF? I guess as long as they are good looking and good in bed it doesn't matter. I wanted (and got) a woman with a real career (surgical nurse) that knew how to budget money and didn't have an addiction to a designer label. Face it. Most marital fights are about money. Why not just nip it in the bud and remove it from the equation? Please tell me I'm not alone in my thinking.
Updates:
Okay, let me rephrase this. I'm not asking for a woman who makes 6 figures. But, I don't think its unreasonable to expect a woman to make $40,000 a year and have a credit score of 750 or higher. Got some hate in a reply to a similar post on this topic. Not asking her to be rich. Just be able to contribute and pull her own weight.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I genuinely don’t get it either, how the majority of men say that it doesn’t matter. It’s just not realistic or conducive for a long term relationship, unless he’s willing to financially support her right from the get go (and then you have a woman of lower intelligence to not have any financial value should she find herself without a man) which seems ridiculous because who wants to do that with someone they barely know?

    I think that particularly here it comes down to a lack of experience, with many having not been in the position to select a woman for a long term relationship where this would actually be a reality

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You know, it's just more complicated than that. I used to think it was really important and my family certainly thinks so as well, but after my divorce it just doesn't matter as much to me. I do pretty well and I married a woman who has a Ph. D. in biomolecular engineering. She works as a senior scientist at a biotech doing blah blah blah and made about $105k/year in the year of our divorce. There were many problems but the major one? I couldn't get her to stop spending. The year of our divorce, we made a combined $410k and there were months where we lived paycheck to paycheck. I couldn't get her to understand until I gave her divorce papers and that triggered a rage in her that I was completely unprepared for.

    But here's the thing -- I feel I had had no way of knowing this was going to happen. I was with her when she was a poor graduate student at UCLA living off her stipend. On the flip side, a few weeks ago I spent some time with this very poor girl that I met off of a dating site. The first time I picked her up (from her ratty trailer no less), after driving for a while she asked if I could buy her a strawberry smoothie from McDonalds. The thing is, she asked it in such a polite, un-entitled way that it almost sounded like a foreign language to me.

    So when you talk about a woman's "financial situation", it's not as easy as you make it sound. I think I'm ok with poor, but I'm not ok with an uncontrolled spender. You talk about the nurse you married, but I feel that there's no guarantee that as her career (and salary) develops, the woman doesn't become the design label whore that you sought to avoid. I get what you're saying (I REALLY DO), but experience has yet to convince me that a poor girl has more financial downside than an educated one with a solid career.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't care if she's broke. What I care about (and don't like) is if she spends more money on luxuries than she can afford. If she's considerably in debt without any ways to get rid of it, and if she won't meet up because she can't afford the 5 bucks for a meal but refuses to be invited to this cheap food.
    And if she has financial problems but isn't interested in solving them.

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  • She should be financially responsible. Not spending money on shit she doesn't need. Always thinking about the future and how to be prepared for it financially by saving or investing her money. If she’s goal-oriented and is financially responsible, thats a major check in my book.

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  • less than zero

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  • Makes no difference to me.

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    • Because other things are a much higher priority to me when choosing a mate. If she is financially stable, it's just a bonus, but not a primary concern.

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