Do I have the right to feel like that?

So, i have been seeing this guy for the past two months and we go out only the two of us almost everyday. We hug, we cuddle, we hold hands but it's still a little bit awkward sometimes because we are not officially a couple. I really want us to be, i care a lot about him but it's harder for him to trust someone else because he has been hurt before by the girl he liked before. I understand that, i give him space but i want him sometimes to be more direct and tell me he likes me and want us to be together. The worst part is that i get emotionally attached way too easily so i easily get upset when he doesn't tell me what i would like to hear. I don't know if i have the right to get that mad at him. I was thinking about distancing myself from him but i miss him and i hate playing the game of being unavailable.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't play games. COMMUNICATE! Don't be demanding or upset when you talk to him about it, just tell him what you want and how not getting it makes you feel. Then talk about how HE feels and LISTEN TO HIM. Give him his opportunity to be heard.

    Finally, ask him if there is any way to bring the two of you together.

    It's possible that you will get an answer that you don't want to hear, but even then, at least you would know. But you might also get what you want...

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    • Oh, believe me, i tell him the reason whenever i feel upset, the problem is that he doesn't like talking about his feelings and changes the subject right away. I guess i should be the one to take the initiative and have the talk "what are we". I have tried to do so before but he would say 'let's talk another time' anyways, thanks for your advice!

    • The trick is that you need to be able to have a conversation about your feelings without USING your feelings while you do so. If you only talk about your feelings or relationship when you are upset (or you let the conversation get you upset), then is it any surprise that he avoids those conversations?

      Put those feelings on hold and talk to him as if you were advocating for someone else, even though it's about you. Keep that emotional separation during the conversation so he doesn't get defensive or avoid the conversation.

    • Okay, i will take that under consideration! Thank you!

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What Guys Said 9

  • I don't know what to suggest, honestly, except to say that I understand your guy's position, having been burned by a girl I liked when i was around you guys' age. Speaking as a man who went through that, all I can suggest to you is that because your guy is doing what he is doing with you, he is trying, but the fear, and he may have already told you this, the fear that it'll happen again is not an easy thing to get over. You are certainly allowed to have feelings about your situation, but try to be gentle with not only him, but yourself, too. He is trying, that means a good deal, and if he realizes he has a good thing with you, he will come around when he is ready.

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  • Tell him you want to be a couple and make him feel secure by in detail going into how deep your loyalty goes and why you can be trusted. You gotta apply those bandages tenderly. I was that guy in this situation and I didn't tell the girl what she wanted to hear so she blew my best friend and clearly that ho just wanted a dick

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  • I guess what I'm not understanding is why you have to hear it. Why don't you just try to kiss him and see how he reacts? If he gives you his cheek, just kiss his cheek, and tell him to return the kiss whenever he is ready. Every time you see him, kiss his cheek.

    You talk about wanting to be a couple, but y'all can't even get passed handholding and hugging.

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  • In the first place you have no right to get mad at him for that kind of thing... If you want it to be real and not a forced 'i love you' you should let him chill for a little and prove to him that you like him to the point where you woukd wait for him to get ready. Just dont push shit, its just gonna make it worst...

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  • Some people have serious baggage, sometimes in ways that maybe you can't understand. It's important to give them the time and support to overcome that, if you care. If it's too hard for you, then maybe it's a bad match.

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  • don't be mad at him. you mention that he has been hurt before and that is why he is hesitant to ask you to be his girlfriend. maybe you should make the first move and ask him instead.

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  • You have the right to feel and think anything you want. It’s all about action.

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  • no you dont have the right to feel like that if he has been hurt before it might take. time

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  • Talk with him.

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