Why is it so hard for me to trust my bf?

Anonymous
I always say to myself “it’s okay to trust him. He is a good guy. He isn’t going to cheat or hurt you”. And, sometimes i can be trusting towards him and secure. But, other times. If he mentions a girl, like a friend of a friend or something. Like, if he asks about her, i get jealous and insecure. I think to myself “why does he want to know her name, or if that guy at the party was her bf?” And sometimes i will get an attitude because i feel jealous. And then he gets upset that i am thinking badly - like, thinking “oh, he likes her.” Or “oh, he thinks she’s cute”. Also, he is in a lot of group chats on whatsapp and his guy friends send pictures of girls and their body parts (I’m assuming my boyfriend doesn’t). And the photos save to his phone. He was trying to show me a picture on his phone, and i saw some of them in his gallery and i got upset. However, he explained it to me that the groups send SOO many messages and pictures, he doesn’t see them all that save. And he has to look through his phone later to delete them. After he explained it, i said “okay. It’s ok” but the damage was already done.

I think this stems from my last relationship. Where, with my boyfriend i was conditioned to image every girl as a threat. My ex would always flirt with girls in front of me/text them behind my back, and eventually i found out he cheated/tried to cheat a few times. And in the end, my ex broke up with me by never talking to me again and dating a new girl.

I know my boyfriend is different, but at certain i cannot Control my reactions and thinking. The fear and danger seem so real and strong :/
Why is it so hard for me to trust my bf?
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