My boyfriend wants a polygamous relationship?

The thing is both of us are straight and he is thinking that we could have a 3 way relationship where we would be living with another girl and we wouldn't have sex but he would have sex with both of us. I asked him if he would be okay with me sleeping with other men and he said no. I feel like this is kinda unfair but im not sure my feelings are valid. He has a way higher sex drive then I do so its hard for me to keep up so I see where he is coming from in that viewpoint. I would like to try having an open relationship but he's extremely jealous when it comes to the thought of me having sex with another guy. I dont know... Thoughts?

0|2
1724

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you don;t want to share him with another girl, you need to step up your game. You can offer him hand jobs or oral sex more frequently as well as PIV sex.

    However, if he is so interested in having two women available to him, he is not that committed to you. Do you think of him as a future husband/LTR partner or is he just a fuck buddy?

    3|0
    1|1
    • I do, we just recently moved in together and have a pretty honest solid relationship. We usually have sex about 3 or 4 times a day and oral and hand jobs too but it does wear me out quickly...

    • Show All
    • If you both have the freedom to have other partners, what's the point of living together? Are you going to keep separate bedrooms so that when you bring another guy home, you don't have to kick your roommate out of his bed? It honestly doesn't sound like either of you is ready to settle down to a committed relationship and you will just end up hurting each other.

    • Very honest opinion here.

Most Helpful Girl

  • see this is the thing I don't get with guys, they can go talk to another female and whatever but when you talk to another guy they cry about it LMAO, like what type of insecure controlling shit is that? if he's gonna go have sex with other girls then you have the will to go have sex with other guys then, nothing everything has to be his choice

    3|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • You signed up for a monogamous relationship, don't let him forget that. He should be careful, too - it could easily be a sexual fantasy and nothing more without better thought - the way you've put it across to me sounds like it's come up as a sexual afterthought. He either has to have a LOT of deep consideration for a full relationship as he suggests, or has to have the freedom to physically experiment, the latter option I'm gathering that you're not prepared to allow. Read up a lot on polyamory... you'll find that real polygamy, with strings attached, as it were, is a tough road (though no less rewarding). It's definitely not for everyone and some people genuinely just fantasize about threesomes without those attached strings, properly. For others, it can absolutely be like a normal relationship, albeit with more than two participants. And let's not get into the complex set-ups of some of these relationships.

    Think of it this way - neither of you can come up with a positive compromise in order to satisfy his suggestion. He's not happy to let you away with more sexual freedom according to your own sexual interests (i. e, you're straight), nor are you happy to sit on the sideline while he bangs someone else. That should be a big red 'stop' sign right there.

    You might BOTH be polygamous, but you're both straight, so, logically, you wouldn't be in the same working relationship, without being okay with your partner having what would technically be another relationship. What he is proposing is a single relationship consisting of you, another girl, and him. You would at least need to be bisexual for his idea to work for you both simultaneously, and since that's not the case, it's a no-go.

    And let's imagine that he's only really talking one-night-stand kind of behaviour, or 'open relationships'... that could very easily destroy your feelings for each other if you aren't both truly on exactly the same letter of the same word of the same line of the same page in the same book.

    I could be polyamorous. I lack the confidence to explore that notion properly, so I'll likely never know and will remain monogamous... and I'm single. I have the freedom to go ahead and explore it but I don't know where to start, never mind if it's just an afterthought 'what if'. So you might consider that even single people have trouble exploring the matter... so tread carefully.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you could become more involved with a new partner... I don't know the circumstances of your sex drive , but if it was once there... it might be easier to rekindle with someone new...

    Unless you are comfortable with sharing your bed with another woman, I would not entertain the idea of the 3rd person for the reason of keeping his needs met above your need of comfort...

    0|0
    0|0
  • This is unjust.. why he can have sex with other girls just cuz he is a boy and u r not allowed to do so... if he truly loves u then he should be only urs, no matter if he is not sexually satisfied with u.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I could see why he would be upset ifon one hand you tell him your low sex drive can’t keep up with him but then ask him if you could have sex with other guys. The question is could you handle him with other women both emotionally and physically. If you have another woman live with you you will have to share him fully.

    0|0
    0|0
  • First of all your feelings are valid! It doesn't matter if his sex drive is higher than yours or if yours was higher than his. You both are equals in your relationship. If he is trying to convince you that it's alright for him to have sex with other women, but he denies you the same right with men.

    Then there is a problem, also it is very hypocritical of him to be jealous of you being with any other guy when he asked you to let him have other girlfriends. (Personally I don't understand polygamous relationships, but that's beside the point.)

    You either need to get him to agree to allow you to also have other relationships outside of him. Or the two of you need to be enough for each other. Or you and he might not be a good match any more.

    3|0
    0|0
  • You're basically just an object to him for sex if that's the case

    1|1
    0|0
  • Tell him if you can't have sex with other guys than he shouldn't have sex with other girls. Tell your not comfortable with the situation or just simply move on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It won't work.
    It will fuck up and you will lose decent sensible friends who escape you as they are sick of hearing about the endless problems that ensued

    1|0
    0|0
  • tell him if you can't have the same deal with men. then he is being selfish and it is not on- very simple

    1|0
    0|0
  • Tell him you wouldn't have sex with other men, and then just have sex with other men

    1|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    13

What Girls Said 16

  • Just because he has a higher sex drive doesn't mean that is is right for him to be able to sleep with another girl but you can't do the same. Either he wants an open relationship so BOTH of you can explore your options (for sex drive reasons or whatever else) or neither of you can.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Uhhhh what the hell. That’s unfair. If he wants to fuck another girl then it should be cool with you being with another man. I dunno it’s up to you. Can you handle that?

    2|3
    0|0
  • He just wants to fuck another chick. He sounds like a total asshole.
    If he can't hold himself to the same standards as you, then he's being abusive.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Wtf is he saying? I don't like that idea if u don't like it either tell ur boyfriend

    1|2
    0|0
  • Maybe he's telling you in a way to make him feel more better when you both have sex again. That you're not doing a good job. Its unfair tho, he's not really committed to you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol it is unfair. If he wants polygamy it goes both ways.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Don't be stupid! He is using you!
    Dump his stupid ass!

    2|2
    0|0
  • Dont do it unless you're 100% happy that its what u want

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'll never understand why people want this. It's just his way of saying "I wanna fuck more holds"

    0|1
    0|0
  • Don’t do it. It is unfair and he seems like he don't give a shit about your pleasure and feelings

    0|1
    0|0
  • Show more from Girls
    6

Recommended myTakes

Loading...