How to show disinterest after a few dates?

I've had 2 dates with some guy thus far and I'm pretty sure he likes me. However, I was in doubt if I liked him at first, but I now realise I wouldn't want to keep dating him. So I decided to tell him.

But when is the time right, because it wouldn't be smart to throw something like this at him during Christmas time. So I was thinking maybe between Christmas and new year. Is that wise? Just so he doesn't enter 2018 with false hope.

Concerning telling him. Should I simply tell why I'm disinterested, that I'm disinterested or throw it on not feeling anything romantically.

What would you guys like to hear in this situation?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're right to wait until after Christmas, but not too long thereafter. Tell him the truth, but as nicely as possible. He's probably completely unaware of how you feel.

    Personally, the feedback as to why you weren't interested would be useful to me, and I'd prefer it to be as honest and comprehensive as possible so I can learn something from it (felt the same way when I was a young adult), but be prepared that he may be very hurt and not handle it well.

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    • Thanks for your honest answer

      He's just not at the same stage in life as me. I'm more of the ambitious kind of girl with plans for my future and a work-a-holic attitude and he's childish and uneducated in comparison with me (which isn't a bad thing perse, but not my type). Knowing myself, I'd step into a relationship with this kind of guy due to compassion for his past and his fragile personality. But it wouldn't be a healthy relationship.

      So I decided I needed to be true to myself (and in someway to him) that I need a different kind of guy. And this wouldn't work out.

    • That is a big deal, and you're doing the right thing for both of you. Just be sure to couch it in a way that isn't that negative. It doesn't sound like he would be able to handle something frank.

    • I won't. That's exactly why I'd asked the question here in the first place.

      I'd just liked the view of some men on this matter. That way i hoped to address the rejection as careful and friendly as possible.

      Your view on this is very appreciated. Thanks a lot!

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What Guys Said 7

  • You don't need to go into detail, but absolutely tell him ASAP. Just say something like, "I've enjoyed our dates, but I'm very sorry, I'm just not feeling a connection and don't want to waste your time or lead you on"

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  • Honestly you shouldn't wait. The longer you wait the worse it is. Time is precious in life and the faster he can recover from this the better.

    You can tell him why sure. Just try and not put blame anywhere. Just tell it like a summary. If you think you have some advice for him, you can tell him. He might be angry over that but he will remember and maybe think about it the next time he meets someone.

    It's never easy to let someone down but it's best to never drag it out and just keep it friendly and not begin arguing which can happen in breakups. In your case it hasn't gone so far and you have not yet shared any special moments so that is not a worry.

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  • Tell him you're disinterested right now. Wth should you wait for a right moment for this mofo to gtfo and fh?

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  • That situation is just going to suck regardless.

    Getting into "why" could be sticky if he asks for further explanation.

    Just tell him it's not working out.

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  • Dont keep him wondering tell him why u feel this way

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  • yeah, just be honest and tell him straight that you see no future.

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  • As soon as possible is best. Not a date but maybe a lunch. Just to clear the air.

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