I found out about his past. How should I deal with this?

I did something horrible last night. I checked my boyfriend's phone while he was asleep, and I found out texts to his past romantic flings that were from 5 months ago before he met me. Although I found out that he has not cheated and flirted with anyone since we dated, I still felt horrible for 1) Invading his privacy 2) Finding out about his past.
He texted things like how he felt vulnerable emotionally and how he felt like he has problems with short temper, etc. to a girl who did not really respond well. I was shocked because he always seem so carefree and happy when I see him- That didn't sound like him at all.
The next morning, I hugged him and asked if he's happy, and he said yes. I went on and asked "Did I make you happy?" and he said yes. However, reading those texts from last night still haunts me and now I have a harder time believing in him.
How should I deal with this? Thoughts?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If we say that we feel happy especially if we also look happy - we are happy. He might have been feeling that way then, but not anymore. Don't overthink that. Focus on him now rather what he wrote back then. Everything is fine. But don't make invading his privacy your habbit, especially if you trust him.

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    • Thank you so much. I will do that

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    • Oh god, YES, What you said makes so much sense. Thank you so so much!!! 🙏🙏🙏

    • You're welcome. Glad to help

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What Guys Said 6

  • Even though I think honesty and good communication are absolute musts in a relationship, I think you'll be opening too big of a can of worms if you tell him. Just focus on communicating with him and making your relationship even better (he's happy with you- be glad!).

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  • Why don't you actually care about him? Your focused on your own insecurities so much that you're ignoring his problems.

    You probably don't make him happy. If you are this insecure it probably affects him.

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    • You're right - I will keep that in mind

  • This is where reading texts doesn't always help; why don't you admit it to him; apologise; and suggest you'd like to help him with any problems he may feel he has.

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  • Better come clean now, it'll just get worse.
    But if I were him, I'd be furious.
    Phones are a sacred thing almost, like reading somebody's diary
    It's an extreme invasion of privacy.

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  • I don't think you need to tell him, but a good sloppy blowjob is fully deserved!

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  • You are dum

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