Is he emotionally unavailable or just not into me?

I have been chatting to this guy on an online dating app for about a week. He has asked me to meet up with him next week, however, I feel like he has been a bit vague about it. I feel a bit uncomfortable as well because he has asked me to go on a trip with him 3 times already in which I have declined them ( we have never met in real life before) So after asking me to " hang out " with him next week, he hasn't set a date, time or place. It's been 3 days and I'm the type who plans my week ahead so I asked him in a light hearted way for an update. He responded straight away, proposing 2 different days. I picked one and a time. He agreed but then didn't propose a place for our supposedly first date next Thursday. I feel like I'm doing the work for him. Not sure if he's not actually into me or that he is terrible at planning. I'm 26 and he's 32. Also, he's mentioned that he works a lot. Any input will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
  • Emotionally unavailable
    Vote A
  • Not into me
    Vote B
  • Too early to tell
    Vote C
  • Neither - I'm expecting too much from him
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The fact that he has asked you to go away on a trip with him before you have met the first time very strongly suggests to me that he is socially inept. I suspect that he has very little experience in relationships and has probably built this u p in his head into something much bigger than it actually is. If my theory is correct, he may be very grateful and devoted if you become a couple but he will need some "training" and that may be more than you are willing to do.

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    • Thanks for your input. I've gone on dates with a guy who was a bit similar to this guy (asked me to go on a trip to Europe with him). Of course, I declined but he planned 2 other dates straight away. So I think I might give this new guy a pass.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I’d pull away a bit and leave it to him. If he doesn’t step up and make an effort. Move on

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    • Yup, I've lost a lot of interest already. I don't want to push or ask him for the location of our date next Thursday so I'll just wait. If I don't hear from him by next Tuesday, I'll just cancel the date and make other plans. Thanks for your input.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • You should go and meet him. But, on your terms. Pick a place of your choice where you feel comfortable and safe. Don't think or expect much out of him. Best of luck to you. I hope you find what you're looking for.

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  • He is beating around the bush way too much. Do not take this guy seriously.

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    • Yup, that's exactly how I feel. I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt but at this point I've lost interest.

  • He probably is socially inept and the turning down three times certainly didn't help him. He probably thinks this is more serious than you do and is nervous that you won't like him.

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  • Be careful. I wouldn’t meet him anywhere but a very public place until you got to know him. Make him do the work, sounds like he’s playing you

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  • A lot of guys dont like planning. They prefer to leave it to the girl so they know for certain she is having fun.

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  • Hehe guys r poor at planning so girls do it its common so try him

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  • At least he could have suggested two places so that you can think about it. Ask him where

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What Girls Said 2

  • I feel like he thinks this is rushed so he wants to take it slow!

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  • Too early to tell

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