Is being single even when you’re trying to find a relationship simply bad luck?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Finding a partner for a relationship is not like going to WalMart to buy an ice cooler. You don't just walk into the store and pick out a new partner.

    Some people are not motivated to look, some people go about it in the wrong way, and it takes time even when you are motivated and doing all the right things. Being single is an inevitable part of the process.

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    • Touche! I like the ice cooler analogy! Very on point.

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    • That’s the thing. I’ve never really been in a relationship. Most of the guys I met have been online. Either from POF, OKC or FB

    • I have met many women on POF. What is the problem that you have meeting guys through POF or OKC?

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, not really. Depends on how you’re ”trying”. Some people might be frightened by it because it might come off as desperate. Also you don’t just build a relationship out of thin air. It’s the sort of thing that takes time. Yes, when finding someone you have to be a bit ”lucky”, but at the same time it’s something that requires work, time and patience. I agree with @OlderAndWiser, it’s not like walking into a store and buying something. Compare it more to wanting something in particular, going through several stores and talking to several customer service workers before finding the item you wanted.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 31

  • Depends how long you have been looking and how you have been trying. without knowing more I would say there is a bit of luck involved but it will more come down to how much you are exposing yourself to situations that might result in a relationship.

    Best of luck to you though

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  • You might be just very choosey when it comes to relationships. Not creating enough opportunities to meed new people? Looking in wrong places? Finding a right partner is hard. Just keep going and you will find someone eventually.

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  • No, it has to do with the way relationship dynamics are working nowadays, etremely favorable to certain stereotypes of men and unfavorable for other kinds of men, things just went completely downhill after sexual revolution.

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  • No such thing as luck,. It's more like random chance. That's why most couples meet in high school, university or at work. And I think work is the last resort. I've never dated as I tell you it's not luck

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  • It can be a bit of both. Yes because of lack of opportunities and looking in the wrong places. Online dating isn’t exactly the best method. Rarely do you hear someone say I met my S. O. off (insert dating site/app).

    But no because it’s not something you can force. It’s all about chemistry and a lot of factors. You can’t force anything.

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    • Lack of opportunities? There's no shortage of people out there! But you need to go meet them. It may take 100 or 500 approaches even before one becomes your bf/gf but at least you've made the effort, met some cool people, had some funny interactions, and become socially confident and funny etc. Attraction isn't a fluke; it isn't luck. But if you don't go out and practice you don't get better at learning to attract people.

      But yes I'd avoid online dating people are on those sites for many reasons; it's usually only the duds with no social skills that are on them for serious dating.

    • @MusicMayhem lack of opportunities as in ways to meet women. I live in the suburbs of Chicago and aside from going to bars, there aren’t many ways to meet women.

      I mean I wouldn’t say I’m shy or afraid of rejection but I can’t realy approach a girl if I have nothing to say to her. Generally the women jive met in person were through friends or they approached me first.

      I wouldn’t say online dating is only duds, even though there’s plenty of them on there. It’s become more popular than ever.

    • You can meet women walking down the street! That's what I do mostly there's an endless supply of them.

      I don't have anything special to say to them. It's not the words that count but how you say them, your body language etc. Heck, you can talk about not having anything to talk about if you want. Just make it fun and flirty and get them laughing, then you can get their number and set up a date.

  • I've been looking my whole life, and have come up with nothing over and over again. Some people are just doomed to always be alone. I guess a large part of it is probably bad luck, but a larger part is most likely intrinsic to the searcher's personality/looks/attitude.

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  • It can be bad luck, or simply no one around who you feel sufficiently attracted to.

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  • Luck may be a factor, but it mustn't be down to only luck, hence I disagree.

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  • If you're a woman you have no right to complain about being single

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  • It's hard for all of us to find someone, especially someone you truly connect with.

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  • Nope, it could be any of a number of things, and is likely some combination of all of those likely possibilities. I would wager that for most of us, being single when we don't want to be is basically the result of employing 'hope' as a strategy. Which is likely why some people would suggest luck is more than simply a small factor. If you're not expending the same amount of energy into starting a relationship as you would spend trying to foster & maintain a relationship, you're probably fucking up. The reverse is also true, and likely a major factor in breakups & divorce.

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  • If that's true I've had bad luck for almost 8 years now.

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  • Asking myself the same question. Next to impossible to find someone!

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  • No it means you are not a hoe. Thats good. Chosing the rigbt partner is good. Good luck🤗

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  • Blaming external factors all the time will not make you progress.

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  • "Love is Luck".

    I believe this so much. Find someone it's not like you have some steps down the streets and say "hey i found someone! Now i will be with this person forever!" does not work that way.

    It's a series of factors: if the person attracts you (and if you attract the person), if things match, if have same goals, if both really want a long term, etc...

    Of course: if someone has many qualities (tall, good looking, good job, has a good mood, knows how to talk and has social skills, etc... the chances increase and much.

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  • Nope. Some of us are extra ugly and weird and whatnot so it is not just a bad luck.

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  • It can be hard finding a relationship. Not only in finding someone you genuinely connect with but getting past other factors. Such as choice of other partners, not only yours but theirs as well. if someone comes along that they think is the better option they'll go with them. Which of course breeds competition (and sometimes even backstabbing if you know the other person). Then you have to watch out for players and attention seekers, people who are just using you to meet a specific end such as sex or just attention to make themselves feel good and don't want to get to know you as a person.

    It's a minefield essentially.

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  • How can you not be single while you are looking for a relationship?

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    • Well, technically, you could be in a relationship and still be looking for another lol.

  • Overqualification is a thing too.

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    • Thats what women who don't get approached tell themselves to feel better about themselves rather than taking action to meet people or improving their dud personalities.

    • For some, ofc it is BS they tell themselves.
      But it really can be a thing for both sexes.

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What Girls Said 8

  • It could be or could be other things. Most commonly I think it is bad luck, meeting the wrong people, no social skills or social awareness, shyness. It could be anything though.

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  • What that doesn't make sense, that's what single people do when their ready for a relationship so how would it be bad luck?

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  • Bad luck as in it's all luck, nothing to do necessarily with you. Even the best people have to be single at some time. Get out there and try again :)

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  • No not at all, being single is a blessing 😄 honestly take this time for yourself and be happy

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  • Bad luck? No.
    Stressful? Yes.

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  • Destiny

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  • Yes.

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  • I guess I dont understand your question. Like you should be single if you're looking for a relationship. Otherwide you're already an a relationship and are unfaithful.

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