Should we throw away the things our exes give us to respect our new partner?

My ex gave me a fluffy dog toy that I like hugging it to sleep every single night. This bothers my current boyfriend a lot - sometimes he would push it away and say "get this dog away from my face". He would tell me to give it away to charity. I have moved on from my ex, but the dog is so cute that I didn't want to trash it. What should I do?
P. s. My current boyfriend also has a wallet that his ex gave him - He said that he is planning to throw it away but he wants to use it a bit more since it is in good condition. Should I let him keep it/ buy a new one for him? Thoughts?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems that we don't need to throw away everything an ex gives to us, in order to respect our new partner. However, a fluffy dog that you like hugging every night to sleep would bother me. Probably because it's from him and so comforting and directly related to bed and sleeping.

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    • I see... You're right! Do you think other things like wallet should be replaced then?

    • Something like a wallet is seems much less personal to me. However, if he's wanting you to get rid of the stuffed toy, then you might compromise with him, and get rid of it if he gets rid of the wallet. Also, a wallet might seem more personal to you than it does to me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Get your boyfriend to buy you a new toy dog.
    It really depends on what the gift is.
    Some things I don't want to throw out but I've never actually told my husband where these things had come from.

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What Guys Said 21

  • The best way to deal with it is to be extremely pedantic on equality and his principle. Did your ex' ever sleep in that bed with you? If so, that has to go to. Did you ever share the building with them? Get rid of it! xP He's looking at it through a very narrow gaze and he's applying more meaning to it all than it really has, i. e, you've still got the toy because you like the toy - not because you want your ex' back or have anything to do with them. x)

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  • How long have you been broken up with the ex and how long have you been dating this guy? Initially I would say he's being immature, but if you just broke up with the ex and started dating this guy then it might seem like you're clinging on to the past. It depends.

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  • I always let my partners to keep whatever they want.
    who are we to interfere any emotion a person might be having.
    if they feel they want to hold something and not throw it themselves, it won't change a thing if you tell them to throw it.
    besides that, people put their effort and sense of creativity to buy your partner something very special, its part of respect to the person that was with your partner before you..
    accept it, embrace it - you will probably live life to the fullest.

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  • I don't think you should get rid of things you like because of who gave them to you.

    An ex of mine proudly told me how she'd poured paraffin over all the gifts the guy previous to me had bought her, and set them all on fire.

    That was a not inconsequential part of the reason she got dumped shortly after. The behaviour struck me as unbalanced.

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  • I am sorry if an ex gives me a present I really like, I am going to keep it.
    I understand the complaint about the toy because he sees it as something you direct your affections to, something that you lean on when you need emotional support. I think he is jealous of the toy, he wishes you would use him and not the toy. It is just that the ex gave the toy heightens this jealousy.

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  • it just shows his own insecurity in your relationship, on the otherhand if you care about him you would want to make him feel secure in your relationship by giving it up. does the stuffed dog mean more to you than he does? Let him know how much he means to you.

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  • Yeah there's a difference between a real living animal and a wallet, for God's sake. He's being heartless. Besides, why is he telling you what you can or cannot keep? If your ex gave you something, it's yours. A gift to you is yours, and your boyfriend has no jurisdiction over it. If he's like... in his 20s or 30s, he needs to grow up a little...

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  • It depends on how you view the things he gave you. My ex gave me some salad bowls that I still have. I kept them because they don't remind me of her - they're salad bowls.

    That shirt she gave me that reminded me of her whenever I saw it? Donated.

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  • No, you choose what you want to keep and throw away. Your partner should not be insecure and controlling of what you can as well as can't have.

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  • Ahhh fuck, my ex helped me buy a bit of my car, guess I should just saw off the roof or take out a wheel so that my next girlfriend doesn't get jealous over my very materialistic need.

    That said, it's kinda ridiculous to expect someone to throw away an object just because it belonged or was given by an ex.

    Ask yourself, what would happen if you threw this fluffy toy away and was gifted another one, perfectly identical to it, by your current boyfriend, would that change anything?

    It's kind of a selfish request at this point.
    There's no use getting all pant up over an useful object just because it has a past.

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    • Adding to that : He has a good wallet and you have a cuddly fluffy toy.

      Why would the both of you need to further waste money to remplace something that isn't broken? Is it all just a competition to show who loves who more?

  • It's actually your choice?
    You're not married right what is his right to order you around? Does he support you or something?
    Well possesive guy will always be possesive though.

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  • While you could give the dark stuff animal to a nice or nephew or you can tell Him to replace it with something even better And you could buy him a new wallet

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  • I throw the stuff my partners give me away due to the feelings it brings back to me. for the dog thing it is a very sentimental item that you are connected to with emotions and I can understand way he does not want it near him you can have a compromise with it not to have it in the bed when he is over and cuddle up to him instead he might think you are no other over him because you still like to fall asleep with it. About the wallet it could be the same story as you just has it because it is practical to keep it or he is keeping it due to his girlfriend got it for him I think it is due to being practical just being practical sorry it is very long but hope it helps

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  • Out of respect you should ditch it and ask your new boyfriend to buy you a teddy for when he's not around

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  • Why wouldn't you throw it away? How did your current boyfriend find out your ex gave you the?

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  • You take your dog and his wallet and put it in corner... then both of u look at that and tell each other what u see.. simple

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  • GET OVER IT!!! are the only words to say to the JR. control want to be...

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  • Tell him I'll get rid of the dog when you get rid of the wallet.

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  • Buy him a new wallet and he should get you a new puppy !!

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  • I do

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he doesn't want to remember your ex. You should throw it away if it bothers him that much.

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