Did you already give up a passion/hobby for your SO?

I ask this because some of my exes did not live well the fact that I had a passion which take me some hours a week (lile 7-8h). She said that I was almost never at home etc. I did not gave up my hobby for her because that's a part of who I am, our relationship did not last long after that. I find this pretty much egocentric to ask this. Did it already happen to you (boy or girl does not matter) ? Do you regret it?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ideally, one would compromise in this situation. You shouldn’t be spending all of your free time on your hobby if you want to have a healthy relationship with your partner. You shouldn’t have to give up your hobbies completely, but perhaps spend a few hours less per week so that you can spend more quality time with your partner.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i haven't had to give up a passion or hobby of mine. in fact my SO supports and encourages my hobbies and passions

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 25

  • No. He's not dumb enough to try and make me do that.

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  • A long time ago i was stupid enough to do that yes.

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  • I gave up writing novels because my ex didn't think I had enough time to be a mother and a writer as well. I stayed with him for 4 1/2 years after that but shortly after breaking up I tried writing again and got severe writers block. I wish I had never stopped.

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  • I can understand her point of view, because what's the point in a boyfriend if you never really get to see him because he's just doing his hobby? Might as well just be single. At the same time you shouldn't have to give up something if it isn't unhealthy or affecting you both. It's best to compromise so you spend time on both relationship and hobby.

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  • No, I didn't and I wouldn't ever give up on something I love... and neither will I ever ask my partner to give up on his hobbies or something he's passionate about. Because- Asking me to give up on something I'm passionate about is like asking me to change who I am. If he likes/loves me, he should be acceptable of things which I love otherwise, he's not worth my time.

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  • My ex and I both did. 30 years ago I was a drummer and we met during a hiatus. I took a year off. I wanted to get back into it and he didn't want me out in a club until 4am every weekend. He was a powerlifter and I didn't like him taking steroids because I wanted children. So we both gave up our loves for each other. When we divorced I went back to playing in a band and he went back on steroids.

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  • I'm the opposite. I enjoy reading, writing, and taking photos, and I would love to have a career in one of those fields. My boyfriend sends me links to practice prompts to further my writing, he told me he'd buy me a laptop so I could write and edit faster and more efficiently, and he may get me a professional camera so I can start up a small photography business after I get enough training and experience.

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    • I would only ever date someone who supported me. I cried and literally felt depressed, when someone I used to be with told me that their family wanted me to give up voice-over. I told them I would never do that and that I'd choose voice-over over them.

    • @ScarletAngelic Update: he's getting me a laptop tonight with a subscription to Microsoft word so I can write and edit photos. THIS is the kind of relationship everyone should have, supporting each other instead of changing each other.

    • Yeah, he supported me a lot, but not his family, though I realized that I actually like girls and not guys so I ended the relationship.

  • I’d never do something like that. My boyfriend is really important to me but he’s not my life. He’s a nice addition of course but that doesn’t mean I have to give up on everything just to be with him 24/7... that’s not how it works and also, I wouldn’t be with someone that doesn’t support me in what I love, screw that

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  • I m opinion, If they are truly in love with you. They would encourage and motivate you. Not stop you to do what you aspire to do!

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  • My now ex boyfriend I was dating hated anime so while I dated him I stopped watching it. I did kinda regret it but not too much

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    • Why can't you just watch it when he isn't there? Did he really hate it that much? Good he's an ex lol... Seriously, it's just anime, not something that you're gone for days for or out late every night and stuff

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    • "heavy ("* no clue why "can" was added there.

    • @Synttacks I can see her point. But she shouldn't have let you stop your hobby completely. Just less time doing it

  • No. If anything, he encourages me spending time on things I like to do.

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  • Not at all. My boyfriend encourages me to follow my dreams and do what I like.

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  • Never give up what you truly love! Ever! Find someone who has passions and hobbies like you.

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  • I would never give up a hobby that I'm super passionate about.

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  • See we have this thing we are very opposite we both are our own individuals I would never ask him to give up something he loves cause then he wouldn't be him without it and I know he would never ask me to give up something I love just cause he doesn't like it lol (unless both him and I know its hurting me but that goes for both of us but he doesn't do dumb shit like me) also he showed me some lyrics that also help with my statement
    I'd rather hate you for everything you are
    Than ever love you for something you are not
    I'd rather you hate me for everything I am
    Than have you love me for something that I can't

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  • I did and it was not worth it

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  • I left my whole life for one guy once... :/

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  • Lol what SO?

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  • I would never give my hobbies up for anyone.

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  • What was ur hobby?

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What Guys Said 12

  • Tough no. It really depends on the circumstances.
    Generally though if you are really passionate about something then it’s probably a part of you and the other person needs to accept that.
    Even better if they encourage you or join in not because they are interested but because they love to see you excited about stuff you enjoy.
    You should reciprocate also.

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  • None. Instead my partner encouraged me for it and you can see results here:
    drive.google.com/folderview

    In your case, I agree with you. Hobby is part of who we are. But it isn't egoistic to ask that. Relationship won't last if you don't give attention to your partner and hobby is a massive divergent

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  • its stupid to give up on somethings you like because of someone, i would never give up of going in gym, even if i would be with most beatiful girl in world , sorry but its true

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  • If someone truly loves you, then they will encourage and support your passion as long as it doesn't break relationship parameters.

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  • No way... got many more new ones! She makes BANK too!

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  • yes of course
    hunting fishing other interests all were strangled as other more important activities demanded my attention, such a moving to pursue a new challenging career, children, The One & Only
    and found myself putting the passions/hobbies of all this ahead of mine... of course I go revisit old pass/hobs as time allows or when bored, these are never lost forever

    Just so you KNOW this is NOT a judgmental recount/preaching, I agree with you NOT to give up anything until The One appears, possibly never to be seen again. My take is that you have not run into her yet, certainly not that complainer type... who would allow you whatever time you needed "to come around" & to be happy in a more selfless way.

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  • Geezus! I'm the only sucker in the world, huh? Or at least on this site.
    Well, good for you! I would count on being single more than not if I were you.
    Every woman I've ever known well has expected her partner to give up something or change something major about themselves. I'd bet even the ones here who are writing all the right affirmations, if you took their SOs aside and asked, you'd get a different story. Manipulating men is what women do. It's not always overt, in fact passive-aggressive pressure is much more common. But they all do it, mark my words.

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  • Ofc not. Just do what you love in life. Do what makes you happy and that's it

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  • My life

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  • dont have a SO ;(

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  • What was your. Hobby?

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  • No because I enjoy my stuff and she must adjust.

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