Why do men reject me?

Okay, so I'm really baffled by something and could do with some genuine advice. I don't have the guts to post my picture but ide like your opinions on this.
Im a 23 year old female. never really dated as I have always been focused on my career but have come across men in the past ( work colleagues etc) who showed interest.

Now, as I'm getting to a point where I would like to meet somebody and thought a dating website may help as I'm completely new to the dating world. Trouble is every time I speak to people, it's general chat and then when we exchange pictures… the ones that I am interested in seem to lose interest-which makes me think there's something wrong with me. The guys are nice about it and let me down gently, but I know it's to do with my looks.

Im confused becsuse my entire life growing I was always told I was attractive, by strangers, family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way saying that I'm a model material and deserve guys giving me attention (I clearly know I am not), however I do take care of myself. Have nice hair, skin, okay features and dress smart.
I am now questioning all that and starting to wonder whether I am attractive because these guys would not have lost interest after picture swap. Guys that could have pursued something with me but chose not to after a picture swap, and this has now happened a few times which is worrying me.

It has really knocked my confidence and I don't know what's wrong with me.
Could it be the website?
Could it be the type of men I am coming across?
Could it be ME?
Updates:
Thanks for all ur responses. I really would like to post a photo, however I do not think in that brave.
I've had time to think about it and have come to the conclusion that there are more important things in life to think about. I'm just going to continue working on myself and be the best that I can be.
Thank you all once again for taking the time to answer my question.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If it's always happening right after the pic swap, it's either that they're not attracted to you, or you're too attractive to them, or they were just trolling for pics all along.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Like I know I sound really stupid now, but it bothers me. Fair enough if I knew I was average or an ugly duckling I would have had my whole life get used to it. But I've had the opposite. I've always been told I was attractive. Would men really reject somebody they found too attractive? I honestly think that's unlikely.

    • Depends on how much of a bond you've already formed. A lot of people, men & women both, are easily intimidated by someone they consider to be "out of their league".
      If you haven't talked enough to establish a genuine rapport, they might be assuming you're playing them, or going to reject them, or maybe even some kind of scammer.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't hate me for saying this but... are you black? Are you overweight?

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Oh please stop with the "are you black" scapegoat. Obese might be a problem but she stated, that she is taking care of herself. As i understand she isn't fat. Most women are not fat.

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    • Raspberry - As i see it this is a bit of an equivalent of asking a man for the reason why he does not have a girlfriend yet and then ask him "Are you poor?"... provided we are not talking about gold diggers.
      I am not denying, that there are racist buttholes out there but still.

    • Hahaha i love you so much !!!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 29

  • How can anyone give a meaningful answer to this question without seeing a picture of you?

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  • It probably isn't you. They just want something different. I wouldn't stress too much over it. Just keep at it and it'll happen!

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    • Hi, thanks for ur kind words. I'm stressing because I need to know what the reason is.
      I've worked very hard my whole life. Went to uni, graduated, became a teacher, bought my own house, ensured that I stuck by my morals and values. Being told that I was attractive growing up was an added bonus.
      Now I'm being rejected and sort of made to feel as if I'm no good makes me feel bad. Even if it is my looks, I just wana know so I can get used to the idea that I might actually be ugly.

    • You're reaching; you're assigning values to things that may have no meaning. You assume something is wrong with you because of what's happened, but you need a much wider experience pool to say that with certainty. I honestly don't think you're ugly; I'd assume you're a good looking girl. I know that someone will share my view, and hopefully he's the right one! You've done everything right. Feel good about that!

  • Got no clue how you look like, but i would have dated you gladly by what i read.
    Have some patience, the right guy will come.
    Just a coincidence so far...
    And remember, not everyone must accept how we look.
    If i had been stabbed once for everytime i was told im not a woman's taste..
    I would have looked like a colander.

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  • I'm not sure on the reason why they lose interest however if you're going for guys who are I don't know above average attraction?

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    • It's after I show them my photos. These guys arnt drop dead gorgeous themselves, however I like to get to know a person first, rather then reject people based on looks purely. But it seems that these guys have other ideas.

    • Well I'm sorry for your experience with guys who go solely based on looks. Hopefully you will find someone who Love's ya for your character and personality ! Not your looks.

  • It's possible your standards are too high. People tend to be attracted to someone near the same level as they are when it comes to looks. But I also think you should update the post with the pic if you are brave and want legit feedback.

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  • Friends and family lie to us all the time. Your best bet to see would be to chat up a wide variety of guys on the dating app. I mean from 1-10 in your eyes. Compile a mental list of what number you typically get turned down at. Example, If its around guys that are a 7 and above that start to shun you then you have relative base to go by to determine where you fall on the attrative scale. You can then aim realistically.

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  • To answer your question, we need to see a pix.
    Dating sites are toxic.
    I would suggest that you try an old-fashioned introduction agency. One that has a physicsl office and wants you to go there for an interview.

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  • You just may not be the type of person an individual is trying to find. I guess you could view online dating sites (albeit more common now) as a non traditional way to meet people and perhaps they are looking for a non traditional partner. It could be age, could be intimidated, lots of variables. Don't give up!

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  • Lol i'm not most guys but looks are totally meaningless to me, i just desire a connection with a girl im trying to date, I've dated girls in other countries because i felt such a strong conmection to them. If they won't give u the time of day they aren't worth it. You'll meet someone special soon

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  • Holy shit you are literally a female version of ME and i understand your situation so well but i cannot give you advice on this because i dont really know how you look like nor the men you meet

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  • Sounds like a simple case of you not being their type. Nothing to stress over. Trust me, keep trying abd you'll find your match. Just don't get desperate

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  • three questions,
    1) percentage of fat mass BMI
    2) what kind of picture you send whole figure salfy half-length
    3) what do you wear in the photos and how do you pose?

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  • The simple truth is the “interesting” guys are more physically attractive than you are; thus, they’ll think they can do better.

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  • "I was attractive, by strangers, family and friends."

    Mom and girlfriends tend to do this. The problem is that a lot of women nowadays tend to overestimate their looks which raises the bar in terms of which men they deem suitable. We don't have pictures of you and you seem pleasant over the internet but I would vote that it's a combination of you and the dating culture. The other problem is that men have a lot more options nowadays with the freedoms that come with social media, etc. Also most guys nowadays (even bums) tend to go for above average women (as pointed out below) which severely inflates certain women's egos.

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  • Daddy issues, self esteem issues... oh wait none of the above then that mean they are FUCK BOYS!!!

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  • The people who told you that you were attractive were being nice. You're probably average and the guys online are looking for above average.

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  • You could be intimidating. But hey. If you get rich some day and want a househusband come and find me

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  • "this has now happened a few times which is worrying me. "
    A few times is too fast to worry.

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  • It doesn't have anything to do with you. Internet dating is weird, so I wouldn't overthink it. You've been approached before, people have told you you're attractive, and you at least suspect you might be attractive; this tells me you're most likely quite attractive.

    Has anyone ever told you you're unattractive? Because they will lol. Especially other women (although they could just be jealous too).

    My guess is you're probably overthinking it. And if you have the chance, try dating IRL, not online. Fuckers online are freaks.

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  • thou shall put forth photo. thou shall be judged and thou shalk recieve advice from yours truly

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What Girls Said 1

  • Okay love. You're welcome

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