Pretty sure I'm cursed when it comes to dating, what do you think I should do?

So I'm 22.5 years old, finishing my Master's in May (currently job hunting). I'm home for two more weeks and have been on and off of dating sites these past few months. I had one "relationship" in high school that lasted a few months, other than that it's been a lot of one month things where the girl has ghosted me for no apparent reason. Online dating hasn't been great, but that's to be expected. Swipe on a ton of girls and only match with unattractive ones. When I do meet people who seem cool, the relationship seems to go well then ends without warning. Same thing when I meet people in person. The attractive girls give me the "as if" look and when I do grow balls I just get rejected or the girl gives me some kind of excuse. Met one girl on my trip to Australia for a project, we became really close after a few months of working together, and we went out for drinks together a few times. Got back to the US and she blew me off on a dinner date.

Anyway, I just downloaded POF and one amazingly attractive girl apparently "viewed my profile" which is a feature you have on there, and for some reason it won't let me message her. Since I first made my profile a while ago but never went on it I can't lie about my age, and apparently I can't message her since I'm 22 and not 21 (she only allows people between 18 and 21 to message her which is just a classic). Of course she's beautiful and only lives 15 minutes away, just my luck. Maybe I'll make another profile just to message her for the hell of it. Who knows. All I know is after this I'm focusing on making as much money as possible so that when I'm in my 40s I'll have enough money saved up to go on trips I've always dreamed of (Pebble Beach in California, TPC Sawgrass, Ireland, etc). Dating is NOT my thing as much as I want to vibe with someone I find beautiful.
Updates:
Edit: I said I can't lie about my age but meant that I can't change it to 21 from 22. I would have no other reason to lie about it than to try to message the girl

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I could be totally wrong, but you seem more like a relationship man than a hook up man (which is perfectly fine by the way). Most women that age don’t want a relationship as they just want to have their fun. You will realize as you do get a little older that women will appreciate you more for you and will be potential partners compared to now. Just focus on your masters (congrats), your career and the right one will come along!

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    • Ya, I just think it's crap that I get left with used up women who've slept around their whole lives up until that point. I think my perspective is kind of shifting a little bit and I'm going to try to just start hooking up and ditch trying to get into relationships. Based on all of the things I've tried and gone through, it doesn't really seem to be worth it for me right now.

Most Helpful Guy

  • "So I'm 22.5 years old, finishing my Master's in May"

    Good job. This will help you A LOT in the future (like 27+) when it comes to dating. You're not cursed at all. You're just dating in the worst possible age bracket where women are considered their most attractive and think highly of themselves. At your age, most women think they can get almost any man they want - because in some ways it's true. Past 25/26 this dynamic shifts A LOT (at least in my experience). As an example, I'm 27 with a masters degree and 4 different Tinder/CMB women have messaged me tonight so far - and we're talking solid 8s and a 10. I would just wait if I were you - your time will come.

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    • I hope you're right man. It just sucks that I feel that I'm kinda missing out on women in their best years. I haven't had sex yet and I wish that wasn't true. But it could be worse, I could be working at Red Robin or some other restaurant my whole life and be struggling

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    • Haha no can't say I have that much wisdom. But yea, in general it's normal for a guy to feel not the greatest between 20-24 because it's such a steep climb at this age. But past 25 life for a man is actually very easy: easy to get work promotions, easier to get jobs, easier to get paid more, etc. One of the best things you can do right now is just not take dating seriously - or keep it at casual pace only - play around a bit - hint at hook ups and don't take any woman seriously. Going around and asking out every woman right now can be very psychologically damaging to you and moreover you won't be performing your best in the more important areas of your life, such as work

    • Yeah that's what I want right now I think. I tried to do things the right way and get into a relationship in the past year or so, but that's absolutely stupid at this point. I probably got lucky that it didn't happen

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Please, please, please don't swipe in girls who look unattractive. That'll make then feel like they have nothing to give in a relationship. But I feel you. I'm cursed too

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What Guys Said 3

  • Look, change your self pity mindset. No one likes that.

    To get a woman isn't hard at all.

    You just have to go out and meet women in person and talk to them and see if they are interested in you if not then move on til the next til you find one.

    It's a numbers game. If you talk to 20 women I'll bet you'll get at least one to say yes to you.

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  • I know how you feel but at least women actually find you attractive.

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  • Sometimes it’s not meant to be.

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