Would a guy bother apologizing if he didn't mean it? Is he sincere?

So been dating this guy for about two months and things seemed to be going well. About a date a week, dates that lasted for hours and hours, great conversation, great chemistry, lots of fun together, all good vibes. That is until we made plans for a Saturday night before the holiday break. I'd turned down invites from friends to hang out that Saturday night because me and the guy had agreed to do dinner... only for him to completely ditch our plans at the last minute in favor of joining his own friends at a sports bar. I wasn't cool with me keeping my eveing open when he couldn't afford the same courtesy and flip-flopping on our plans, and I told him as much. Especially since I knew it was my last shot to see him before we went our separate ways for the holidays.

Given past experiences, I honestly expected that I wouldn't hear from him again after calling him out. But I was wrong. He apologized several times, and said he "felt terrible" for being flaky. Since he's been gone out of town with his family for the Christmas break, he hasn't texted too much, but he's never been a big texter so that isn't abnormal. He simply texted to say he hoped I had a wonderful Christmas, called me an "amazing woman", and said he plans to make things up to me when he gets back to town in a few days.

I'm assuming that his ditching of our plans was maybe a testing the waters thing, and that if he wasn't interested, he would've simply ghosted and not bothered apologizing. He has yet to "make things up" to me, but that's just because he's been out of town... Does he sound sincere? Or is this a possible breadcrumbing scenario?

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  • I can't really tell if he is sincere or not but I wouldn't wait around. let him make the first move because as you said, what he did was indeed a bit rude. and during the holidays it is hard to make plans anyway. but either way I hope you are ok, just don't wait too hard, you don't have to always ditch your friends lol though I understand you were just making time for him

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What Guys Said 4

  • I only apologize when i mean it. Depends on how this guy is. Good luck.

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  • If he can text you to apologize then why didn't he texted you well in advance before dropping the plan.. there should be a genuine reason for not informing you prior.

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    • Well he did text in advance of cancelling the plans, but he texted after 4:30 when our plans were at 7:00. When I had texted him that morning at 10am to confirm, he said he was feeling a bit "blah" but asked where I wanted to go to dinner. I said I was open to anywhere he wanted since I'd picked the last time. I then didn't hear from him until after 4:30 when he said, "Would you be terribly upset if I watched football with friends instead?" I told him that basically yes, I would mind, because he as the one who said he wanted to see me Sunday evening and I had deliberately turned down other plans for him. But he still went anyway. While apologizing. So that's the full story.

    • Oops and I flip-flopped the day on accident. But you get the idea. Was I still right to be annoyed with him that he changed plans last minute?

    • Yes you have the right get annoyed but later you should accept his apology as he had informed you 2 hrs prior.. dont give him a piece of cake let him beg you.. he deserve it.

  • I think you should give him a chance, but if it becomes a pattern then do as you please

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  • Could be many reasons

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