What kinds of things do you like about him? How does he make you feel? If you two were to get married, what kind of future would you have? Would you want to have a family with him? What kinds of fantasies do you have?
What I like about him: Right, so we're approaching 2 years together and a lot has happened since we got together so we're both rather different to how we were as individuals when we first met. Something I've learnt is that I still love who he used to be and although we've seen the death of a parent and a number of close family members, an assault/mugging causing PTSD and 3 suicide attempts, eating disorder, social anxiety, moving out for safety and both have frustrating home lives, all I can see in him is the person he was before it went wrong. I admire his strength to carry on and how he feels about having someone else in his life to be with that's worth living for. He also has a powerful sense of humour and is far from arrogant but it's so attractive.
He makes me feel: Like I've got more a purpose as a girlfriend and when it's going well, like I'm on cloud nine.
Married life and future: We're forever talking about it, just eloping and starting our own family. It's not about a big show, it's about us. The future would be stable, involved and loving; something we both felt like we missed out on ourselves.
Family of our own: Definitely, we'd both love to have our own family together.
Fantasies: Running away where noone knows us and just starting over together.
I’m an American and I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, who is from and lives in Japan. I’m the one dealing with language barrier hurdles in the relationship, and we have to communicate maybe 90% in Japanese.
I’m shy, somewhat introverted and awkward, but my boyfriend is the complete opposite of me (I still wonder what he sees in me to this day). We’ve been dating for over 2 years and I still feel like an embarrassed teenager experiencing my first love when I’m with him. We manage long distance with calls and video chats every day and through calls, you tend to be able to hear little sounds people make a lot and I’ve fallen in love with all his tiny grunts and noises he makes while studying or thinking.
As people overall, I’d say we’re really different. In high school, he was a cool soccer athlete friendly with every one in the class and I was a very quiet math club member too anxious to greet my classmates. Being even friends with someone like him was just a distant dream to me, but we eventually talked and fell for each other. I think we meet each other halfway on our interests and hobbies, but I think it helps a lot that we’re open to trying new things so we don’t change even as our hobbies and interests do.
When we get in arguments, we do have to be really clear with each other to make sure nothing gets caught up in the language barrier wall and he’s very understanding of me, even when I get bad slips due to mental health and is always open to accepting lots of cultural differences as well. It amazes me every time but he can also always tell whenever I’m off or my mood is weird and never hesitates to check in on me.
Whenever I go to visit him in Japan, I stand out a lot thanks to a lot of my American habits and sometimes he also gets his shy and awkward sides with me and it’s really cute. It still feels really unrealistic to me that I met someone I love as much as him and I’m hoping one day he’ll pull a ring out on me and if not, maybe I’ll jump to do it myself haha. If we do get married, I think we’ll be living in America and coming back to visit Japan often and we both would like 3-4 kids or so. There are a lot of complications there but I think we’re just taking it easy since we’re not quite at the age for children and marriage yet. I sort of laugh thinking about what weird bilingual household we’ll have and I’ve never really experienced households with a lot of mixed culture and I’m curious how it’ll turn out
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