Is expecting to become friends before getting serious that unusual?

It seems that most of the guys I've talked to on various dating apps just want to get right to it. One guy actually told me it's best to find sexual compatibility asap so time isn't wasted dating or getting to know eachother. Wtf? Are a lot of men really against getting friendly before getting into bed?


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What Guys Said 3

  • Holy shit women can't make up their damn minds!

    "OMG this guy only became my friend because he wants to sleep with me!"
    "We want guys to be our friends before trying to have a sexual relationship with us"

    If you insist on arbitrarily dragging the process out for longer than necessary, don't be surprised if he leaves for somebody else who isn't playing the fucking games.

    • How is getting to know someone in a friendly manner playing games, exactly? If it's known there is the intent of a long term relationship I don't see the issue.
      If you're not getting along or constantly getting flaked on or something I get your feelings on it. I would stop the situation at that point, if interest didn't seem there on both sides.

  • I can see nothing sides of this. But one ain't no good without the other. But friendship should come first.

    • Thank you, I think so. My ex was my best friend, really. We dated a long while and I trusted him completely and we discussed everything with eachother. We were friends prior to dating, too, but I think there was always a bit of a spark/attraction. We never acted on it or anything of that sort previously as neither was single.

  • We're not against it. But if our goal was to date and get downgraded to friend, it's pretty demoralizing. Makes us question if putting in the effort is worth while.

    Personally, I prefer to date first and be friends later. It doesn't mean she has to sleep with me before I become her friend. It just means that I need to explore our romantic possibilities before settling for a friendship. And I'm this way because its usually harder to transition from friendship to dating (AKA the friend-zone) than it is to transition from a dating to friendship.

    • What do you use to differentiate the two? Most guys seem to expect dating to involve sexual activity relatively fast, from what I've experienced so far.

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    • Sex is obviously a favorite milestone to hit, but the path to love isn't linear. Take whatever route you want.

    • I think it's a difference in preference. Sex is more emotional to me whereas it's just fun for most of the people that seem to be approaching me. So I guess they don't understand not getting in bed sooner. I prefer to know there's a connection there with potential, I guess. If any of that makes sense.
      But thank you so much for your insight. ♡

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