My boyfriend had feeling for someone but won't admit to me, what should I do?

Have you ever got into a situation that you think your boyfriend is the problem, but in reality, you're the problem?
That's me right now. Let's called my boyfriend A, and the girl he has feeling for B.
I've been with A for a year (we started dating in January) and in September, I started to notice he talked to this specific girl and I warned him that she had feeling for him but he didn't listen to me. I was uncomfortable about it so i started to give him attitude and we started to fight over petty stuff.
When we finally talked about our problem, he told me that he talked to his friend (B) more than talking to me because I gave him attitude, and he started to treat B as if she was his girlfriend (hanging out with her, going to concert, bring her to dance practice,...). When I confronted him about his feeling for B, he told me that he only liked her as a friend but when he posted her photo on his Instagram stories (twice), he always hid me and told me that he knew i would be jealous even though i told him i was cool about it. Plus, he didn't celebrate my birthday (or get me a gift) with me but he celebrated her birthday instead. He put a bunch of heart emoji in her contact, and they never stopped talking (Every single day). B has two Instagram account, one that she posted her personal but the other account, she posted a bunch of photos of her and A. She puts caption like "He's cute", "me and a routine: wake up, play game for 5 hours.", "get a man like him". It was really hurt for me to see those photos but why would he tell me that he didn't have feeling for her but she would post photos as if they're dating? Furthermore, he blamed that this relationship is doomed because of me, and he didn't change or anything. My friends said that i'm really feeble-minded to stay with him but I felt like it's all my fault in this relationship.
P/s: I'm 17 by the way, i accidentally put the wrong age on my profile.
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I understand that it was part of my fault for giving him attitude and started to fight over petty stuff but i felt hurt when he constantly talked t other girls instead of me. This is my first relationship though.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Listen to me now, he don't love you, you did one mistake you showed him your attitude that's why now he likes to make you jealous and angry, you don't have to show your attitude and jealousy to him. Show him that you really don't care ok because when you show him your jealousy then he will get a chance to make you sad and more jealous so leave him right now without saying anything to him, he loved you but it was a crush only. See a guy who was not sincere to you how could he will sincere with anyone even he is not sincere with you he spent 9 months with you and he left you and had a fight with you because he loves other girl now, he don't know your value he don't know the value of real love real feelings real and good parthner... So I suggest you to leave him because now he have no interest in you...

    Sorry if I said anything wrong or if I hurt you... Stay blessed and happy face the problems but don't react on it... Life is like the stairs sometimes up and sometimes down so try to be a strong and brave person...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Situations like this seem to happen more with social media becoming a part of our lives. You have every right to be concerned about this. I say break up or at least take a break.

    During breaks many people find where they are in a relationship. If during that break he still posts on Instagram with B, then break up because clearly he doesn't seem to care for you enough.

    I have been in this situation. The best thing you can do is communication, whether it's to him or even his best friend, talk to someone close to you both. The thing that saved my relationship was showing him, during the break, how much this hurts me. If he does nothing to change, you will know what to do.

    I hope this helps. 😊

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Break up with that dip shit... He is playing you so hardcore it is pathetic.. You should've said bye when he ignored your warning and then took her on dates.

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  • This is a very sad situation. I wish I break up with them but you do not have proof that he has feelings for another person. Honestly I don't know what you would do.

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  • Give him space and love and avoid attitude... no sex... if he loves you he will come to you... else he will leave you... aparent breakup

    Attitude will only make situations worse for you

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  • everyone goes through this so not enough to break it
    you'll pass through this as well someday

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  • if your boy freind does not want you l am willing to take you on you sound fantastic and loving l am scottish lets love each other

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  • If he's celebrating her birthday but not yours that's sending a pretty clear message :/ If you push him away you can't be mad at him for being pushed away, not all men play that game where they push backa nd prove their loyalty or whatever, some people respond badly to being given attitude. Communicate if you want to stay with him, tell him you want to be with him and ask him how he really feels for you and who he wants to be with. Don't demand an answer there but give him a week or two or something. If he has no answer there, that's his answer, ditch him. I went through this last year, I stewed and tore myself apart for three weeks and thens aid yknow, if you wanted to be with me you wouldn't be putting me through this shit, it's over, you've made your choice, have a nice life, and I immediately felt better. My only regret is giving her my ukulele for her birthday :P

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  • he sounds like a little shit , break up nobody disservice that

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  • You're seriously concerned about... Instagram?

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  • Situations in this matter your better to breakup.

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  • He's an asshat POS !

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  • Punch him in the Cox until he tells the truth

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  • Say goodbye!!

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    • Yep has a dumb fuck and doesn't deserve you so brake up with him

What Girls Said 8

  • If he is doing something you dislike and he holds different values than you, then you need to end it. First relationship or not. You don't date somebody who doesn't respect you regardless if it's insecurities or not. Everybody has their rules and regulations for their dating life and relationships. You knew about this girls' intentions and he did what he wanted. End it. Learn from your mistakes and make wiser choices for now on.

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  • Break up. It's not an easy thing to do, it never is but it's the best thing to do in this situation. He is treating her like his girlfriend more than you and you are the girlfriend. It sucks when the girlfriend ends up being the third wheel. You deserve better.

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  • You cannot Trust this Schmo anymore. And even if you Would try and Make it Work, It could go Back to being a Full Circle Problem Pattern with him.
    You deserve better. xx

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    • The choice is Yours but you May just be Wasting your Time down the Line. xx

  • Give him and yourself some space, no contact. I have been in this situation before my ex texted with one of his friend from work, I found out and he didn’t admit that he had feelings for her and then I left, I moved out and live my life, after I moved out he contacted me every 2-3 days but I never initiated to contact him, he stopped contact me after a month and disappeared for 2 months, couple days ago he texted me that just because I haven’t heard from him, doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about me, he does and he told me he miss me every day but I don’t know if I want to get back to him, so distant yourself from him after a month you will know if you want to be with him or not

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  • nooo
    these phases pass over time and even YOU will go through one or two

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  • Try to make it work like those old couple know how to...

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  • leave him, you are not the problem, he is

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  • break up... you will be happier wiht the next person who treats you well...

    i will never tarlorate another woman... i dont know why you still call him your boyfriend when he takies another woman out on dates (concerts...)

    i had similar in the beginning of my relationship...
    he was obssess with his "best freiend, soulmate" for 10 years. and her kids. he gave her everytihng, money, serivces, love and even put her in his Will. the good thing, she is not into him.
    i came along, i told him its eitehr me or her... he is with me...3 months into the relatioship, she called he took her out to lunch, i flipped out. called him a liar and cheater. we had fights every month. she kept contacting him every other week... by yr. one, she was saying how he wanted to marry her before he met me...
    i made him email her to tell her to f*** off (to respect his relatisnip with me and to stop contacting him). she had her chance with him for 10 years. and was not interested... so she better f*** off and stop playing him and using him more that was the end... i hope... i dont know... maybe my boyfriend doesn't tell me... but he is much much better to me. we have been togehter 1 1/2. we celebrated Christmas with his side of the family, mom, sister and best frienes... he then drove back with me and my kids to NY, celebrated New Year here and helped me with stuff... just flew back to his state...

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