I dont know how to tell a girl im interested that im petrified of being vunerable emotionally?

I have a bad past and it has made jaded, cybical and paranoid. Its all a front thought its all to hide the fact that im terrified of being vunerable again. The last (and as it happens first time) i became vunerable the results almost killed me (no joke)

I've been speaking to a girl for about a month now and have arranged to meetup in a couple of weeks but i dont know how to let her know that for me to open up and be vunerable emtionally to her is something that i am terrified off because of my past and that im afraid shell think of me as undateable or unloveable

I dont plan on dropping this one the first date but i have 0 expierance in the dating world i dont even know what tp do when dating

FYI im 25 and yes im getting therapy but i need to find something to help right now


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  • You will get experience bro! Be genuine and fear not! She is a normal person and you need to stop putting people on a pedestal! Don't let the past stay longer than it already has, treat others as individuals, she has no correlation with those who hurt you, none at all. It is an irrational fear brother. Let it pass. Don't hold onto it anymore, it is a conscious effort!

    Be genuine and enjoy the experience, she said yes! You are all good! She likes you for you! So be you!

    • For once a guy give gd advice but what about telling this person that things will be slower with me than she might be expecting

    • I would just let her know over time what you are going through man, not all at once or on the first date of course, but slowly over time when you know it is right to tell her, just be genuine about it, I think she will understand where you are coming from. I mean, it can't be much slower than myself, I am waiting for marriage! So if you are just honest, and say it at an appropriate time, you should be fine

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