Feeling insecure from my past =/ ?

My last girlfriend was emotionally abusive to me. Now that I am with this new girl - who is amaazing. I feel SUPER weird that I am not constantly solving problems or resolving anything with her. Like there is nothing for me to do to help her. With my ex it was a constant battle to please her/earn her love. This is SO different and I feel insecure about it. What should I do? =/

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I’m confused... you said you were emotionally abused because you always had to solve her problems? can you go into detail? i know this isn’t the main topic, but i would’ve never thought trying to solve your partners problems are abusive?

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    • Uhm. Like nothing was good enough for her. And like I could never be upset or anything or else it all just got worse. And I just got lost in this cycle of trying to earn her love and pleasing her and was rarely met with any form of affirmation. Like she would give me just enough affirmation to keep me doing all the things I was doing for her. Even at the inception of the relationship I was like her therapist/pastor helping her with stuff. It didn't seem bad while I was in it but I totally lost myself and who I was in it. She said a lot of negative things on top of it so no matter what I did It was never good enough. I don't know if that makes sense. Like it started off as me helpign her and quickly turned into something much more toxic..

    • does that makes sense? See why it feels strange for me now that I am with someone amazing. It feels so different and its been making second guess myself..

Most Helpful Guy

  • Be happy where you can and don't spend too much time second-guessing it. Still be supportive where you can though even if it is less effort.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If she is amazing, give her a chance. just because someone treated you bad, doesn't mean another will. you finally may have struck a diamond. cherish her and treat her right. And she will never hurt you as long as you are honest, loyal, and caring to her. Hope this helps =)

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