What's your opinion on coffee dates?

Seeing a girl for a first date on Saturday and she suggested we go out for coffee. Pros/cons of a coffee date? Normally go out for drinks on a first date so not used to the coffee thing... What's a reasonable time of day to meet for a coffee date?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't drink coffee lol, but meeting up in a coffee shop or something is fine for a first date just to have a chat and get to know one another to see if there will be a 2nd date or not.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Coffee dates is what I could label my standard first meet of a stranger. Something short, the greatest expectation is terminal and usually just a quick chat, and there's a lot less of that formal hoo haa mumbo jumbo.

    I call it a meet'n'greet. Public setting. It's a great way to get a real visual, feel the vibe you get from them, and then decide if you want to actually spend any amount of time with that person. It's an easy out for you if you'd rather not, likewise for them.

    I mean we know if we want to have sex with the other person pretty quickly... so there's no point in wasting time doing some bullshit.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 74

  • I think it’s fine, especially if it’s a nice local coffee shop and not something busy and annoying like Starbucks. I’d say a reasonable time is early afternoon, like between 1-4. So basically you’ve already had lunch and you don’t want it to be around dinnertime because that would be weird.

    Pros:
    - You’ll have something to do with your hands, and while you have a sip you can think of something new to say.
    - You’ll be supporting a local business if you don’t go to Starbucks.
    - Your first conversation is laid out for you: what you’ll order and why. Could be enough to break the ice.
    - It’s a nice way to keep a date short and sweet. So if it’s not going well, you’ll know that you don’t have to sit there for a lot longer if you don’t want to. But if it’s going well, you can totally have another cup or get a piece of cake to share. Very cute.

    Cons:
    - A lot of people who date frequently think coffee dates are becoming more and more boring (but this isn’t an issue if you still think they’re fun)
    - Lack of privacy. It’s harder to talk about something private because someone is likely sitting close to you.
    - If you don’t like coffee then obvs it’s a bad idea lol. But I guess you could choose something else to drink.
    - Harder to have a conversation based on your surroundings, since you’re stuck in the same place (versus taking a walk or going to a museum, where you’d see and hear different things all the time)

    I think that’s about it. Overall it’s a pretty good place to have a laid back date. But if you’re a serial dater, then it might be too boring/basic.

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  • I don't like coffee but I love coffee dates before drink dates because I'm sober and it's during daylight hours. If I don't know you well, I know grabbing coffee will happen in a busy, lively place and I won't have to worry about drinking too much, getting sloppy (or him), and that pressure of going home with someone isn't there on an already nerve-racking first date

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  • Nice idea. Pick a shop that isn't crazy busy or you won't be able to hear well. I'd also check to see if there is a show or anything going on as some local shops host things like that. If its on a weekend, go for 1pm to 4pm.
    A coffee date is where my husband and I went on our first date.
    I will suggest pre-planning things to talk about. You don't want to both get there and then have nothing to say.

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  • I love coffee dates!!! I don’t drink - perhaps her reason for suggesting it to? Exactly the same as getting drinks - just as casual, relaxed. I like that nobody has alcohol (hopefully) in their system- you really get to know the person, and it’s quieter (can actually hear each other talk rather than nodding your head pretending you heard what they said). I’d always go for a morning tea 10 or 11am, that way if you like each other and want to keep talking, you just move onto lunch!

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  • coffee dates are best on a Saturday after at 3pm or 4pm order a few cakes (women like cheesecakes especially blueberry cheesecakes and oreo cheesecakes) just get the girl either a vanilla latte or americano. when u just bring her and order for her it makes u seem very manly. lol

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  • I think a coffee shop is a really cute setting for a first date! It’s usually much quieter than a restaurant, and definitely less noise than a club or bar. I was just at a cafe working the other day and saw a couple who seemed to be on their first date. It was around 3:00 and it was very quiet and quite small so very intimate.

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  • I think its a great first date idea. You will be forced to talk to each other so you will learn more about her, and there are lots of cute photo opportunities. I’d say go when the sun sets, that way you can walk around town and see all of the beautiful lights (plus if it’s cold you can let her know you care more by (for example) lending her your coat or things like that. Hope it goes well :)

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  • Honestly I love going for coffee as a first date. It’s fun, simple, comfy and warm. Also the coffee shop music makes socializing easier.

    Time of day, probably 10am or 4pm. Since these are mostly times where coffee shops aren’t really full. You can go at night too if you’re okay with drinking coffee at night 😝

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  • I prefer coffee dates for a first date. The setting is less formal and more relaxing. There's less pressure to impress if the date is more casual. It's easier to chat and get to know each other over a coffee

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  • Coffee dates are cute!! A cute coffee shop is a great place for a first date! Afternoon would probably be the best time. Coffee dates give a lot of time to talk and get to know each other, which is great! The environment of coffee shops is usually chill, so that will help with any awkwardness on the date.

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  • I prefer a coffee date to drinking alcohol on the first date.
    Pros: seeing someone in daylight you can't tell their real attractivess level. Get to know the real them.

    Cons: probably won't lead to a sex on the first date kinda deal. Can't think of any other con

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  • Meeting over a cup of coffee makes much more sense than getting alcoholic beverages and clouding one's judgment!
    Coffee date can happen any time from 6 am to 10 pm. Usually early to late afternoon is most convenient.

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  • Well for starters it's a serious date. You can give her the feeling that you want to get to know her and that you're not into getting her drunk and taking advantage out of the situation. But alcohol helps getting less anxious so the both of you may get more nervous I guess? I think 3/4 pm is a good time. And remember, if it works out you can still go to grab a bite oder head to a bar for a drink. Good luck :)

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  • I've always preferred non-date dates. So coffee is good. I hate it when it feels like a date, there's too much pressure. When it just feels like you're hanging out, it's so much better. You can just be yourself more.

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  • After work/5 pm or midday. it’s a good first date. Casual, quick, public. If it goes well you can plan a cocktail date. And if that goes well a dinner date.

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  • I think midday is a great time to have a coffee date. You can still have a cup of coffee or tea (whatever you feel like) and order something for lunch whilst chatting with the girl to get to know her.

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  • Sounds good to me !!
    For a first date, I prefer original ideas such as jet skiing or skydiving but it might be risky because the person might not be a good swimmer or afraid of heights, plus you should make sure to avoid food that the other person might not like or might not be used to (sushi, fish..) so a coffee date sounds like a good compromise.

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  • You can have coffee whenever so the time can be adjusted conveniently. And a first date in a coffee shop can be really sweet and comfortable.
    However, a con is that you don't always find privacy in such a place which can be a bit distracting.

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  • Coffee dates are great! My mom and step dad met at Starbucks and now they're married and have been living together for 8 years now. Also coffee tastes good so if it turns out that you don't like the person at least you got a good cup o'joe

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  • I like it. Also shows you're more interested in catching up rather then going for a drink and sleeping together. Any time of day is good as it's coffee

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What Guys Said 92

  • Coffee dates are the best for the first meeting. Just pick one that has more to do. Some shops these days have board games, art galleries, etc.

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  • For a first date, I prefer original ideas such as jet skiing or skydiving but it might be risky because the person might not be a good swimmer or afraid of heights, plus you should make sure to avoid food that the other person might not like or might not be used to (sushi, fish..) so a coffee date sounds like a good compromise.

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  • I think a coffee meetup is a great pre-first date plan when you have never met the other person face to face. It is a quick and cheap test to see if there is mutual attraction before going out on a first date. It also would help you get an idea on where to go for the first date.

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  • I'll meet people at any time, day or night, for coffee. That's probably just me. The pros are that coffee is relatively cheap, doesn't mess with a person's inhibitions, and is still a stimulant to aid with conversation. It can also end very quickly if it turns out the two people aren't clicking, and can be extended otherwise. It's also all about conversation, which is a plus in my book.

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  • Good first meeting, it’s not OTT and is sensible and generic which is the way you should treat a woman until she proves to you she’s worth something imaginative.

    Far too many men go out of their way on a first date and end up bitching and crying when the girl says no lol...

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  • Coffee isn't a date; it's a meet.
    It is designed to be casual and brief such that either of you can bail with no pressure if you're just not feeling it. It's only meant to help you decide if there's going to be an actual first date. However, coffee is usually open ended, so if you're both having a very good time, you can move swiftly and smoothly into the first date before coffee even ends.

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  • Any time of day is reasonable, maybe grab a sandwich there and get the coffee to take away/go for a walk. I doubt many girls like being forced into conversation over a coffee table, going for a walk can relieve some of that pressure and shows you can lead the way on a date.
    She's probably classier and wants to see if you can hold her interest without the Dutch courage 😂

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  • Coffee is the daytime version of meeting for a drink (which is different from meeting for multiple drinks later in the evening).

    It’s a good first date if you’re looking to date potentially not just hookup but you don’t know each other that well yet.

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  • Sounds lame. Coffee shops are always busy and I don't drink coffee or tea. So I'd just be sitting there feeling like a sardine in a can trying to bumblefuck my through conversation with a stranger knowing that if I fuck up there'll be a dozen people within earshot who'll notice. Sounds like fun.

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  • I'm a big fsn. I always suggest coffee for the first date. It's not too late, and if it is, sometimes thst's good :) there's no alcohol involved, so no mistakes, no regrets. She is way more open, because she knows i'm not trying to make her drunk. She usually knows i'm trying to get in her pants, but al least she can be concious while we do it.
    Oh, and i like coffee

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  • It's relaxing and its great as long as you know how to make her laugh and good conversation. The downside is, there might be an awkward silence if you can't talk something about her. Experienced both already. The cons when I was a beginner in dating. I prefer afternoon.

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  • It's the smartest place to go on a first date. Coffee dates are short which allow you to quickly judge whether you want an additional date with the person. Also they are public and open so it's easy to bolt if the person is a basket case.

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  • Coffee dates are great. A little cliche but really good. No inebriation involved so you get to know the other wholeheartedly. You do have to deal with a little more anxiety between the both of you. If things are going well during the date however, the anxiety should dissipate.

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  • Coffee dates are okay I guess, but I don't really like the atmosphere most coffee places project & I generally don't like to leave it at just us going to the coffee place because that comes off to women as cheap.

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    • Then you’re dating the wrong women. Had my second date at a café, paid for myself. Never got the impression that the guy (who is now my bf) was cheap.

  • Coffee makes your heart beat faster, and any date that makes your date's heart beat faster is good. Science!

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  • A coffee is the smarter choice. You should always meet for coffee rather then drinks. This way it's a sober date and you get to really know the person without the liquid courage. So there is no cons to that.

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  • I'd prefer an ice cream and a walk on the beach, mostly because I think it's nicer to have a walk because if things don't feel over comfy at least we're moving about 😎

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  • I don't drink alcohol or coffee. So for me, these dates are kinda overrated. But it's fine if someone is comfortable with it! I personally love to be with someone, cuddling at home, as we watch movies!

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  • It depends really on where you are going to have a coffee date. A coffee date isn't necessarily a date in a cafe, it could be a walk around the park while drinking coffee. The thing is, be creative and flexible when it comes to dating.

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  • The best thing about coffee dates is that you really enjoy yourself and you know the real person sitting in front of you. The best time should in the evening around like 4(my fav time). I don't think I have any cons for this.

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