Is it just the thrill of something new because I can't have you?

Story time:

I was recently dumped, pretty horrifically to be honest, but amongst the web of inconsistent lies, adultery, and all round fear of commitment, I still love her even if she did move to another country with her polyamorous ex.

Skip forward 6 months to present day, I have come off my anti-depressants now and things are progressing slowly, and I found the courage to ask a friend out about a month ago. I've always thought she was attractive but of course I was spoken for; or she was, so good friends we stayed until then.

Here is where it gets tricky, we chat every day, have been on dates, spent new year together, yet we still haven't done anything, not even a kiss. I'm not sure if she is holding back to see how my emotional state holds out, because she does know how much my ex meant to me.

To answer a few questions that may arise, the new lady has had two terrible relationships in the past so I am presuming these are the reasons she is going epically slow, and to be honest I never thought I would ever be with somebody like this new girl, she is that amazing, hence why I am willing to wait for her to be ready. It is all the complicatedness of my brain still being broken from my ex and not wanting to mess anything up.

Anyone still reading this essay want to help with their opinion?

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  • Just like what the guy above said its all up to you really. Personally I would try to slowly build up the kinship from hand holding to light pecks on her cheeks and what not just to show that I'm open for more intimacy but respectful enough to wait until she's ready for heavier action like making out or something of the sort. I know you have been in a mentally scarring relationship but if you're gonna let her have influence over you after all this time and effort then she's still winning. For me such a thing is unacceptable and I won't tolerate any form of influence from someone who's left me emotionally wrecked. But this is all on me and how I treated such a situation. Hope this helps bud

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  • Only you can define it.

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