Why does he compare me to his exes?

I really like my boyfriend. He really likes me as well, and tells me every single day without fail. He generally makes me feel really good about myself. A few weeks ago, he asked how he compared to my exes in bed. I am not sure why he asked, because no one really likes to get compared to their exes. He has told me that I was the best he has had in bed since then. And today, he was mentioning his exes a lot, telling me how much better I am compared to them, and then proceeded to show me a picture of him and his ex together, and told me that she is the one he has had the most feelings for, but she was a bitch, unlike me, and that he likes being with me.

I was ok when he started to mention them, because they were a part of his past, however it bothered me when he continued to compare me to them, although he was trying to compliment me by doing so. And is it normal for guys to keep photos of their exes if they don't have feelings for them anymore? I don't keep any pictures of my exes, or mention them to him at all if possible.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not normal. He's got baggage.
    Let him know how you feel. If he keeps it up, dump him. Some people get hung up, and sometimes those people try to use other people to get over their exes. Sometimes a person who does that says things to convince they're new love, and possibly themselves more than a little, that they're over their ex when they really aren't.
    Also, he could be trying to reassure you because he thought he sensed some insecurity in you. Last, he might just be terrible at compliments. Maybe he can't figure out how to tell you you're awesome without contrasting you with his not-so-awesome exes.
    Have the talk. I'm sure you can work through it together.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's not normal. And I'd probably speak to him about boundaries as he's seemed to blurred the lines

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What Guys Said 4

  • Some people (like me) live life by comparison! It was hard for my beautiful wife of 9 years to getbused to that too but in everything I do I live life by comparison for these reasons!

    1. General purpose - I want to be sure my lover excedes my ex in all aspects, so by imforming her about my ex, she will know her strengths and weaknesses in comparison. This is important to me because I never want my ex to be better then her!

    2. Guilt of comparison - Another situation I will compare because my gf\wife is lacking in something and my ex was better at it!! I would say (nicely), that she can do better in this area, because she is better then my ex! This is caused by feeling guilty comparing the two

    3. Picture sharring - I used to share photos of my ex because I was proud she was so beautiful! This may seem like a bad sign but it's not. The reason I would do it is to show that I date hot girls, which is saying that you are hot also! On a side note, it is also saying "look what I had, she is beautiful!! I left her for and chose you Be proud of me"! It's a pride thing!

    Note: Some people live their entire life by comparison, it's not easy from your side because things seem like a negative when in reality there's a purpose for it all! Don't be offended :) it's almost uncontrollable from his side. Trust me lol. Hope this helps!

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  • That's a big no no, bringing exes in a conversation like that and making comparisons to impress you, nope i wouldn't allow it, i KNOW I'm far better than them otherwise you wouldn't be with me, but as a rule never ever bring up exes unless you're asked and don't make comparisons

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  • Just tell him you don’t want to hear about his exes anymore & that it’s a big turn off for you. See if he shuts up.

    I have pictures of exes but I’m not looking at them showing them. I’m also on friendly terms with some exes. Usually if a guy is really into you he will forget about his exes (unless you f’k up and give him reasons to miss the ex) in my opinion. Exception being if he is good friends (platonic) with one.

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  • if he's talking about his ex's, he's still thinking about them, and wants them back

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