And then i tried to convince him to take it back. He wouldn’t take the comment back everything i said to try and make him stay, he wouldn’t.
We have gotten into arguments before and he has thrown around “you are clearly unhappy. So just end it.”
Today, i texted him telling him how i understood his decision and hoped the best for him. He replied with “i am sorry i couldn’t be the guy you wanted me to be”.
I am not sure if i should give him space and ask him in a week, if he truly wants this to be over?
Most Helpful Guy
Just leave it be. Assume everything is over until HE shows you otherwise. For future reference with other guys... try to respect them. Don't try to tell them how to be better guys, don't try to get them to change. I wasn't there but just from the little bit you've told me about what he said I can put together a lot of the story.
He feels like you don't really trust or respect him at all. In his eyes, no matter how hard he tries to be what you want him to be, you refuse to see him as good enough. To him it looks like you're just picking at all his flaws. You may be trying to help him better himself, but to him it sounds like nagging. To him it sounds like "you're really just not good enough."
Whether that's your intention or not, that's very clearly the impression you're leaving. You may love him, but in his eyes, you don't respect him at all. To him it's like you're trying to mother a child. He doesn't need you to be his mother, and yet he feels as though that's exactly what you're trying to be.
I don't mean to sound harsh. I just went through something like this with my last relationship. It was very similar down to her still wanting to stay. It was a fantastic relationship... for a while. But it wasn't long before we started having serious arguments. It felt all too much like exactly what you're describing.
I have two recommendations: you either let him go... or, (if he comes back) you make it very clear just how much you respect him. If he comes back you need to show him that you do respect him and you need to be aware of ways in which he feels disrespected. It's not going to be obvious to you, you're not wired the way hey is. He's keyed in to respect. It's his oxygen supply. He needs it in a relationship if he's going to survive. If you feel he isn't listening to you or isn't being loving... don't beat around the bush about it. Tell him EXACTLY what you're feeling, and WHAT is making you feel it. Don't make him try and guess because we guys are horrible guessers, and are really bad at reading the situation. Hinting, subtly or blatantly DOES NOT WORK ON US! So just... be open. Try to understand him, and never just write off what he says. If he's upset, there's a reason. Try to understand what that is whether or not you think he's justified in it. Whether or not it matters, if you can change it and it's not that big a deal... isn't it worth it for his sake?1
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Most Helpful Girl
Sounds like it’s over to me, he’s brought up the same thing several times and you’re still not happy so he’s ended it.
No one wants to be in a relationship where they feel like they’re always fucking up2