Is it weird to observe a girl from afar?

Dear all,

I would like to inform you that I have some confidence and self-esteem issues which doesn't make my life easy in many fields (Mainly when it comes to interactions with women).

Today, I saw a girl on campus that was really attractive, she's not in any of my classes unfortunately.
I was standing all by myself, since the class session ended earlier than expected. Thus, I saw her on a bench with some of her friends probably.

Unconsciously, I was observing her from afar and when I realized it then I pretended like I was waiting for a phone call. I know this is weird, but it was my only way out to hide myself.

I don't know how to approach her, and eventually she might already noticed that I was weirdly looking at her. I am quite sure that she saw me looking at her many times.
I feel so ashamed lol, but I really want to get to know her.

I don't know what to do from now & on, and eventually how to react next time. Things are way too complicate for an unexperienced person like me.

Hopefully you guys can give some advice,

Thank you so much ! :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are interested, definitely work up the courage to talk to her. Observing her from afar is not that weird because a lot of people do it. But if she saw you looking at her, then she kind of would expect you to talk to her at some point. You should just make the first move, and see what happens. There's no harm in trying, even though you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

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    • Thank you for your answer.

      I would have loved to have the courage to go to her and talk to her directly, but it was really daunting to make such a move. I wasn't prepare neither physically nor mentally.

      Also, she was surrounded by some friends which make it even more complicated to approach her. Therefore, I kept on checking her out from afar without even doing anything.

      On top of that, I don't know if such situation is going to repeat itself if I'll be able to make any move :(

    • I completely understand, when she is surrounded by her friends, it would be really hard to talk to her. I think you should talk to her when she's alone; I have a lot of friends, but I'm not with then all the time, and maybe just "accidentally" bump into her in the hallway or borrow a pencil. No offense, but there probably will not be much development if you don't talk to her. I'm sure you can work up the courage to talk to her. Good luck!

    • That's for sure, I have to come up with an excuse in order to talk to her. Otherwise, nothing will happen as you said.

      Thank you for the support lady :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes, girls are flattered when guys are checking them out. Next time you see her approach her and say, "Excuse me, but I wonder if you could do me a huge favor. I'd really like to get a cup of coffee but I have this weird fear about drinking coffee alone. It's called solocoffeephobia. Could you do me a huge favor and walk over to the coffee shop with me? I'd buy you a cup of coffee if you could help me out like that! I know it sounds weird but I just developed it when I saw you sitting here."

    She will obviously realize that it is an attempt to be flirtatious. If she is interested, she might take you up on the offer. If she declines, just smile at her and say, "You can't blame a guy for trying, can you?"

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    • Thank you for your feedback.

      It's a very interesting approaching technique, however it is way too straightforward and at that stage I wouldn't be able to handle it.

      In fact, as I did mention earlier I do have confidence & self-esteem issues so I don't really have the guts to be so direct with her.

      I will surely prefer to go with a more subtle technique, something that does not put so much pressure on myself.

      I hope that you are right that she felt flattered when she realized I was checking her out. I don't want her to assume that I am a creepy guy :P

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • No. It's not weird. What is weird is stalking them online and hoping that one day in person, you'd run into them again. And you stalk them to know where they are likely to be at the time. And so you find a way to "accidentally" run into them. Because that's what I do.

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    • Thank you for your response.

      Well, there's nothing wrong to that. At least you put the odds in your favor, and you are way more likely to get somewhere than doing nothing.

      I don't even know her name, so I wouldn't even be able to learn things about her on any social media ^^

    • Haha. You do have a point there.

  • When she's not with her friends say hi

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    • Thank you for the response.

      I'll try to do that, hopefully I don't shy away :)

  • Sometimes guys stare at me from afar. If they don’t actually do anything though (like come up to me) I just assume I was imagining it.

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    • Thank you for your response.

      Next time I'll try to come to her and talk whatever crosses my mind :)

  • My crush does exactly the same thing but is not interested in talking to me. What does this mean?

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    • Well, it depends on the person.

      First, let me ask you did he tell you "I'm not interested in talking to you" or is it only based on your own assumptions?

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    • What more info do you want?

    • I believe that he might be attracted to you, and that he doesn't want to show it.
      In other words, he doesn't want to appear needy.

      Again, that's only a possibility there's a lot of scenarios and we are not in his head to truly understand what's going on.

      Did you guys text each other? If so, how went the conversation?

What Guys Said 1

  • "Is it weird to observe a girl from afar"
    No, if you're a cop and you're doing an undercover job. :) Otherwise it can be creepy if the woman notices you over and over again as it is called stalking. So I would suggest to approach her instead of stalking her.

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    • Thank you for your reply.

      Well, I guess it is a little too late :P I've been observing her from afar and I do think that she has realized it by looking at me 1-2 times lol.

      Hopefully things will change next time I bump into her :)

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