What can I do to stop being a coward?

Hello there,

I'm highly attracted to a girl on my campus, but I don't have the courage to walk to her and start a conversation.

I really want to introduce myself, and eventually get somewhere with her if she's the right fit for me.

I'm such a shy person, that doing such a thing is almost impossible.
Consequently, I started to feel sad about my weakness, preventing me of getting the life I want.

Thank you for your help in advance.
Updates:
Thank you so much guys for all of the answers you've been given.
I really didn't expect that people will care, and share their opinions.

I read each comment that you guys left on this topic, but unfortunately I won't be able to reply to each one of you.

Once again, thank you so much for your help ! it is really uplifting to see there are still people out there willing to help others :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop giving a fuck about fucking up, you're going to fuck up, accept it and embrace it, learn from it because you're that much more experience and ready to grab your dreams. Stop thinking about what you have to lose and think about everything you have to gain. If you do something cringy acknowledge it and don't let it bother you.

    Also here's a pro girl tip. You CAN'T talk to a girl with the mindset of trying to impress her, that's what all guys do even if she doesn't realize it she knows and feels it. You have to talk to a girl with the mindset of seeing if SHE'S WORTH YOUR TIME! You have to see her as being privileged to talk to you, that's what makes girls want you, you being YOU, you being happy with WHO YOU ARE and YOU inviting ME to be apart of that, that's how you get girls.

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    • Thank you so much for such motivating words, and advices.

      I feel way more prepared now, and will surely switch my mindset :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just beware of this, courage and self-confidence is very attractive to the opposite sex. Particularly to ladies towards men.

    And if you are rejected, what's going to change in your life: being still single? Having a trauma?

    Never regret what you did in your life, but what you did not.

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    • That's really inspiring, I feel more motivated now to take the risk.

      Thank you for such words :)

    • Happy to help. As time passes by, you will notices your insecurities will become your strengths.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 11

  • Grab your balls and give em' a tug.

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  • Grow your confidence. Get to know yourself, and focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Be content with who you are and your confidence should grow resulting in loss of fear.

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  • If you're this shy maybe u shouldn't think about having a girlfriend right now

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    • Well, I'm not looking particularly for a girlfriend. We can become friends and go from there if things go well I think.

      I've never felt such an attraction toward a woman, and for the first time in my life I keep on thinking about this person.

      She's definitely attractive physically, and that's why I need to get to know her in order to make sure that's not only her physical attributes that make her attractive.

    • Just work on yourself and communication skills. start small with chat rooms then work your self up to going out with people

  • What would you do if a guy stared at your crush, she caught his stare and he blushed and looked nervous. He said I, I love your style. It's beautiful...

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  • If you really want to do it... if it works out great if it doesn't then great also. You just need to try... even if your pride and fear of being rejected tell you not to.

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  • Just do it... there's really no other way. Don't overthink it, next time you see her go up to her before you can even think of not doing it.

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  • Hi there I was in the same position in as you only different place and I’m a girl. The best advice that I can give you is what my guy friend told me when i was struggling because I really liked a guy and I was like you and I was shy and scared to talk to him however my guy friend told me” you never know unless you try” and that really stuck with me
    And I tried and that guy ended up to be my boyfriend and if I hadn’t taken the advice my guy friend told
    Me
    I wouldn’t have gotten to be with my boyfriend so I know how you feel but just remember the first step is to just try. And be friendly with her just start simple we like when guys talk to us and we like the friendship part first ( we’ll that’s what I like) but just take it slow and start off just by talking to her as a friend

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  • Face your fears, Just do it and everything will be fine.

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  • Stop being a coward that's all. Simple

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    • That's quite simple indeed, but not everyone can apply it unfortunately :P

  • Get her attention subtlety. Excuse me mam, where is the closest Burger King around here? Lol

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What Guys Said 10

  • If you don’t wanna mess up with her. Start of with girls in the store. Ask if they know where the cookies are if there’s no one to help. Build up your confidence talking to ransoms then go talk to her for like 10 minutes finishing with saying you gotta go but let’s exchange numbers. Always exchange, never give or take that way she will feel she’s gaining something from it.

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  • First you need to change your mentality. Think that you're okay if you lose. Think like this. If you don't go talk to her then you lose. If you go talk to her then you lose too. This way you're free. Since they are the same you can do whatever you want. And what you want is to go talk to her and stop being a coward. Go for it.

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  • I don't think you are shy per se. I bet you just can't find the "right" moment to speak with her.
    Now if you really are shy as you say. Opportunities do not show up often and we tend to miss many due to our fears. If you miss out on an opportunity, then create one yourself or else you are just gonna be looking at her from afar while she will never realize you exist.

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  • When i want to change something, inm trying to project a bit. Like "what am i gonna think when i'm going to see her". Then, when you think this thought, start walking toward her. Your brain is gonna panic, look for an answer. Get back to your body a walk.

    Good luck mate, see you on the other side

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  • ... ask her phone number or ask her friend.
    it's less nervous when you don't meet her face too face?

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    • I'm going to take her number in a way or another when the time allows me to do so.
      I will surely not take it from one of her friends, it will be weird in my opinion. ^^

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    • well all guys get nervous around the girl they like. it's wouldn't hurt to try to speak to her friends you don't have feeling for them and you'll be less nervous.

      stalk her a bit and find out who are her friend who know her enough. good luck.

    • You point it right, I may try this when the opportunity shows up

      Thank you for being such a supportive person, I really appreciate it :)

  • You are a grown man... if you dont go introduce yourself to that girl. What do you have to lose? y'all become friends. What do you have to win? She can become the love of your life, y'all have kids, raise an amazing family. You can't lose...

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  • You should practise with women you're not interested in first.

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    • That's what I'm already doing on a daily basis, and I realized that once I know the person (like we talk 2 times) I feel more comfortable and ready to engage in more conversation & stuffs.

    • Keep it up, treat her almost like an annoying little sister.

  • It's either you man up and go talk with her or watch her go with someone else... Simple

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    • Is there a way to man up?

      I want to be able to do it, but I'm always afraid of that little voice in my head :(

    • There's always going to be fear in your head...
      But what if it's too late by the time you ask? This hurts more than a "no" ( I have been there )
      It's either you go talk or be ready to loose her
      If you go ahead and try there's a 50-50 chance but if you won't then she won't even know you exist

    • You are totally right on this point, I should do something about it before it becomes too late

  • Fear of rejection is difficult, but think of it this way, your just trying to meet new friends, put the relationship/attraction part out of your mind.

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  • It all comes with practice my friend and even I feel like this sometimes and I deal with thousands of people every week from the very nice and to very rude and raging. It's a common issue and even I had issues with it in the past - it's hard to overcome but you can force yourself to do it and get better with practice.

    The worst the person can do is not talk to you or tell you to go away and chances are high she won't do that. Just go in say hi and take it from their :)

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