Was I in the wrong too?

This boy I was taking we got on well as we kept on texting each other and flirted. He admitted he liked me and wants me. He wanted me to meet him (I think he was afraid to invite me to his house) so he eventually invited me to his house, I didn't agree yet I said I'll see. I then told him I can come on Monday. So it was Monday and he kept on spamming me saying 'hi. Where are you.' I then lied and said I'm at uni I can't come today. He seemed annoyed about that. After that he just told me to come see him and I said "when and he was like "whenever." I still didn't go his house then he got annoyed and Said he needed to see me (don't know if he meant it sexually) he then blocked me on insta suddenly so I texted him saying why he blocked me and he said that I fucked up, and blocked my number too. Do u guys think I was in the wrong still for leading him on? I was gonna go his house but just busy with uni and he had a big of anger issue too. I did like him though.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll be honest, your story is hard to follow, is English your first language?

    Anyway, you make it sound like going to his house was going to be your first date. I think you should date someone a little bit before you "go to their house"

    Then it sounds as if you said you WOULD come over to his house on Monday but than just backed out. If you did that than I suppose that is a reason to by annoyed, especially if nothing believable came up to interfere with those plans.

    To just suddenly need to cancel to go to "uni" sounds like a lie and an excuse and that he's wasting his time trying to pursue you because you are the type who isn't interested but won't just say it, but rather, commit because you are scared to say no then you disappear and come up with excuses later.

    I'd just move on and not pursue you. Also, I wouldn't advise going to men's houses unless you've been dating them a bit first.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you were not wrong. You were wise not to go to his house. Do you know him well? Do you trust him 100%? How do you know he was not going to coerce you into bed?

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What Guys Said 90

  • Why weren't you honest with him about your intentions?

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  • I think it's good that you acted how you did, actually. He seems to be the possessive type, who enjoys seeing other people do the work. If he
    really wanted to see you, he'd have went to you himself.

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    • I know he would of come to my house if I gave him my address cause he kept on saying "what about your place." But it's just too risky as my parents are always home.

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    • I agree with you.

  • Mmm ya the guy first of all was going to be a bad lay if you had decided to do it with him because he's only thinking of himself. B y. Blocking you he proves it is all about him so if he would have made love to you it would have been all about him kind of sad things happen in life and he needs to understand that he doesn't get everything that he wants when he wants it. lucky guy though. He should have been patient. I think you would have been well worth it

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  • Lying was a mistake, since its always better to be honest with yourself and the other person. Its only fair. Unless of course something like his anger issues and constant spamming were that much of a concern that you didn't feel safe telling the truth, which would be understandable. At the end of the day, uphold your integrity and only do what you're comfortable doing.

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  • He sounds immature. Like someone else said, he didn't get what he wanted and he threw a temper tantrum. Meet him in a public place for starters, never go to someone's house if you've never met them in person

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  • I don't think he wanted to meet up to play charades... and if you were prepared to go round his I expect he thought you didn't want to play charades either. If you want to meet someone and ensure there is no confusion, don't go round each other's houses. Meet in a cafe.

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  • Sounds to me that you didn't so much lead him on as got nervous and unsure about meeting him. Yeah maybe you could have been honest with him but his reaction is such a petulant one that it was pretty obvious all he wanted was sex and nothing else. He wanted sex, didn't get his way, threw a childish tantrum and blocked you. You want my opinion? You dodged a bullet there.

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  • Good thing you didn't go. He's got a stick up his ass. Leave it there and drop him as he did you. His loss not yours. Could have been so much worse. You don't treat any woman like that ever. Don't let him crawl back. He showed his true colors already.

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  • No you were not wrong. But be glad he gone cause he does not sound like someone you should be with. Get to know a guy first go on dates and see how much he respects you instead of trying to get you into bed or something worse could happen if you just went to his house.

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  • Never meet someone for the first time in a private place unless you wanna run the risk of getting another #metoo story to share. But if someone was spamming me like that I would be straight up with them and say, "you are being obnoxious and creepy, I'm sorry but I won't be coming by and please don't message me again". That way they know how they fucked up and don't put someone else through the same shit

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  • From the info given to me here, I think no matter what time, day, or place, he would have acted the same.

    He was impatient and temperamental. Given that, I think he probably just wanted to get in your pants. I don't like lying, but sometimes it's necessary for the right reasons.

    I don't think you lead him on in a "screw him over" kind of way. You got uncomfortable with him because of his actions and did what you did to protect yourself.

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  • He seemed way to eager to get you over to his house and was to impatient if here really liked you he would have waited and the way he spammed you was his own fault don't no how many times I've seen people give dating advice say never to spam a girl the day of a date or meet up makes him look desperate for something like sex even if those weren't his intentions and they probably were tbh

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  • Did you informed him earlier that you can't show up as you were busy with uni? If not then you are too at fault but what he did was extremely childish and commanding, he just wanted to have sex with you.. i would suggest you to break contact with him and find someone better who treat you well.

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  • Meh. You probably sent some sexual messages (intentionally or inadvertently) and he thought he was on a goodthing. He wasn't.. lol

    Follow him up (if YOU want to) - or not. ..

    A guy will ALWAYS make time for sex

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  • Yeah... your actions seemed to lacked a lot of respect. You said you'd do one thing then did something else as if he were nobody to you. Imagine this done to you... would you do that to an employer... teacher... etc.

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  • He's desperate and seems emotionally abusive. You're better off without him and you should be glad you didn't waste your time with that creep.
    You were absolutely not in the wrong!

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  • You shouldn't have said yes to meet him if you are not ready, but it was not fully your fault the boy should have understand that you were noy ready or busy with your stuff

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  • I mean nobody likes being led on. How would you feel if you invited some super hot muscular hunk of a man to hang out and he kept putting it off over and over? Might kill your self esteem. Having said that, this guy overreacted. You don't just freak out and block somebody like that. He's acting like a little needy girl. You probably don't want a guy like that. All he should have said is, "Alright, you let me know when you're not busy and we'll make a date," and then stop texting you. If you tell somebody you're definitely going to spend time with them though and then it turns out you're not, people only have so much tolerance. They'll either get offended and overreact like this guy or just assume you lost interest in them and they'll move on to another girl. Always remember to put yourself in their shoes and think about how you would act and feel in someone else's position.

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  • I personally don't like when a girl does what you just did. Whether I've already had a date with her or not in person. Being strung along and then disappointed that I don't get to see you would bother the heck out of me. Don't make a plan you won't follow through on. Now should he have been asking for you to come over to his house? No, but you should have just told him I would've liked to meet somewhere more public... oh well. On to the next one I guess...

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    • I feel bad about that. I didn't mean it to come out like this but he was the first person I actually liked. Now I feel like I did mess things up. I'm just not good at showing emotions which I need to work on.

    • Hey, there other guys out there. Just learn to be real with them. Trust me, if they are a good guy then they will stick around and be real with you. This scenario was just a learning experience for you. It can be nerve wrecking to talk to your first real crush. Keep that chin up girl!

    • Thank you so much.

  • Why lie? I would not be comfortable going to meet someone at their house unless I knew them well, I would rather meet in a public place until I got to know them. You also said he has anger issues which is a red flag to me Especially if you meeting at his house. But I don't think you should lie, if you don't feel comfy meeting at his house just say so, or if you're busy are whatever just say so

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What Girls Said 4

  • You should have been just upfront. leading a guy on never works out. There shouldn't have been a hurry for you to come to his house in the 1st place. If he's went to this extreme, I am guessing you are better off to move on anyway.

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  • Well, if you weren't interested in seeing him anymore, then you should tell him the truth, instead of lying.
    So, yeah your actions weren't right. However, he wasn't right either, since he shouldn't block you just because you said you couldn't see him.

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  • He had an "anger issue?" The problem is you. you kept playing games like come on girl you're 21 years old. be a woman , you're not a child.

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  • He sounds like an idiot. If that's the whole story, he sounds like he can't control his temper.

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