What should I do?

tegannnnn
i’m in love with him, when he's nice he’s soooooooooo amazing but when we fight he’s rude and mean. He constantly goes through my phone and doesn’t trust me but i haven’t done everything wrong but he has done things wrong before. I’m not allowed to talk to guy friends etc. He’s the first guy i’ve ever loved so much and it’s our first serious relationship. I wanna break up with him but at the same time i don’t don’t to let him go.
What should I do?
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