If your SO cheated?

I was having a conversation with some of my female friends and the topic of cheating came up. 3 of them said that If their SO cheated on them they wouldn't want to know. I was obviously quiet shook, because I was thinking why wouldn't you want to know. I would even want my SO to tell me that they were thinking about doing it before they do.

But I guess my question is, if your SO cheated on you, would you want to know, even it only happened once? And also, would you tell your SO that you cheated if you knew they wouldn't be able to handle it? And those of you who are in polyamorous relationships, what would you consider as cheating?
I'm curious to hear all your answers.

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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29

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes i want to know so i can dump her faster that a garbage truck.

    "oh by please it was only one mistake"... I give more than once chance for most things, but never with this I don't care how much I love her.

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    • Completely agree. I'm not about to out here in these streets looking stupid.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would like to know it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Cheating to me would be breaking an important agreement we had. Like "don't sleep with my childhood friends/coworkers" or that kind of thing.

    I would actually be pretty hurt, I don't know what I would do... Part of the thing I love my partner is the complete faith I have in them.

    I would like to know as soon as possible and understand why it happened, how they made their choice, what was going on in their head. I may break up depending on the answer I guess, or shut them down for a while or whatever. I actually have a hard time wrapping my mind around it

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  • My main concern isn't whether she cheated but how she treats me. My wife did this once and what bothered me the most is she would hardly give me the time of day.

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  • I find honesty to be above all. If you can't be completely honest about events that shape and change a relationship, it can be difficult to not assume the worst. Unfortunately, being blunt has a great downside- a cliff, really. It can be very off-putting. However, a very understanding person will accept your comments and know you mean no harm. Many conclusions and observations can be interpreted to be mean-spirited. Yes, I would let the other person know if I had done things that could put our relationship in jeopardy. I have, admittedly, done things I am not proud of, and I told the person I was with about them. She was not happy, of course, but actually thanked me for telling her. She wanted to work through things, but I didn't think I could be a good enough SO for her after what I had done. I ended things and we went our separate ways. I regret it to this day. However, I still stand by honesty.

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  • I know of quiet a number of families where one of the spouses cheated and never told the other. They're all happily married, no divorces and happy kids.
    Sometimes it's the relationship that is questioned. By going outside, SO might have an experience that makes them realize how good their relationship is and they come back with renewed desire to make it work and stay faithful.

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  • I would want to know so i could dump her immediatly.

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  • Id want to know so i could break up with them

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  • id want to know. then it would be over

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  • I want to know asap

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What Girls Said 1

  • I would want to know.

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