How to tell a guy who likes you that you would like to go slow without making him feel rejected?

I run into this problem a lot when dating new guys as they usually want to jump into sex even on the first date ! I try to slow things down , but sometimes they think that I don't like them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I am not quick to get into bed in a relationship because I want it to feel like something special when I am with a guy. . . but I promise you that if it happens, you'll be glad you waited for me."

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just be real ;

    “ hey I like you a lot but I’m new to this so I would like to take things slow “

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • Seems like if you don't want to have sex immediately and you keep finding guys that do want sex immediately, you might be looking in the wrong places. Figure out what you're looking for and then where to find that. Once you start finding the right person, they'll be okay with not jumping into a physical relationship right off the bat.

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  • A guy who values you and worthy of you will want to take the time to get to know you a bit and ensure that both of you are ready to have sex, whenever that may be (and after the first date is generally not realistic, no matter how well it goes).

    I'd recommend just telling him that you would want to know him better and have at least some more dates before considering having sex (and don't feel bad about saying you'd need to be in an exclusive relationship before you'd be ready for sex, if that is how you feel). If he can't understand that and is in too big of a hurry to actually get to know you a bit first, he's not worth your time.

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  • Yep, that's what we're going to think, pretty much no matter what. If you liked us, and were attracted to us, you wouldn't put a hold on yourself or whatever. But obviously you don't have to do anything you don't want to-- it's your life and your body. But we then don't have to react or feel exactly the way you want us to once you've rejected us, and almost no guy will.

    You just have to decide what's more important to you. Good luck.

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  • "I have a friend or two that like to jump into sex much faster than I... would you prefer them.. or wait for me to feel it?" Then never hook them up, of course should they elect the former.

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  • Just be honest with him, say you do like him but you aren't rushing into anything , if he respects you he should be ok with it. But also remember it's going to make him think that you really aren't into him so don't be jealous of he flirts with other girls because this is your decision to take things slow

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  • Tease the fuck out of him then stop. Promise the guy he will have a great time if he waits. Tell him he has to work hard for u. Constant same cycle till ur comfortable but ud have to make progress of foreplay for better motivation system but thats up to you.

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  • Just telling things like they are is your best choice
    Tell him your not looking for sex on the first date
    Open a wider door of communication with him.

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  • Set the bar, but don't close the door. In other words, don't reject him, just the behavior.

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  • Tell him you like him a lot so you want to take it slow. If they get upset or feel rejected it’s probably because they are only looking for sex. It will weed out the bad ones right away. Any guy who is not willing to wait a bit is t one worth dating.

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  • 'When dating new guyS'? How often do new men come up - it doesn't sound like it's a rare occurrence for you?
    Perhaps you don't realise they can sense it about you and so you are clearly rejecting when asking for slow - which isn't your norm?

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  • Depends on the guy most guys think about sex first because there's no emotions no attactment no pain but slowing things down forces them to open which is worst then rejection to a guy who isn't readyto settle

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  • You are right.. but yes a kiss would make their hormones a bit of satisfied.. and that too if u really like him.. otherwise go by ur heart and mind

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  • Friend with him first.. Understand each other before bring to next level.. If it dosen't feel right or u don't see him spend rest of life with him, just be honest with him..!

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  • Date classier guys? Are these dudes off tinder or something?

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  • Simple have 3 date rule.

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  • Tell him that u want to take things slow if he really likes u he will do as u say

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  • Just play it by your own rules and do it in a sexy way. Show them you wanna take it slow because it turns you on or something

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  • Just tell him you like to take it slow

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  • being honest

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  • Just bring the same out there. If they are mature enough, they will surely understand.

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  • If they feel rejected they just made you a favour, now you know their intentions

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  • i don't know so much

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  • Well try a glory hole, then ask them if they want to date

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just say “I really like you but I need to take things slowly. I hope you can appreciate that”

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